Showing posts with label gmail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gmail. Show all posts

Monday, May 07, 2012

Overheard On...

Gmail, while discussing the hunting and trapping of cats* with a friend.

 Brian:  So with ye're stay of execution, I mean deportation, ye gonna get another kitty?
 me:  Erm... probably not. At least, not right now.
 me:  We're looking into getting Permanent Residency, then getting a pet that's a bit more long-lived, won't appreciate being called a pet in later life, and probably needs more than a box to sleep in...
 Brian:  :O
They're like, waaaay more expensive than kittens.
 me:  I know, I know! But you can teach them to talk and do party tricks as they get older.
 Brian:  Get two! That way, you can ignore them, and they'll entertain themselves!
 That's right folks! Claire and I are planning to get a parrot.

Wait... you thought WHAT?!?

*- All for a good cause. They get trapped, neutered and released back into the wild. Spay your pets folks!

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Fuck You, Google. Fugle.

Dear Google.

In the past I have enjoyed your updates to my number one electronic mail service, Gmail, both on the cosmetic level and the features it supports. The most recent version of your email service is clean and effective, visually appealing and easy to find what I need. Features such as Priority Inbox, labeling, and custom skins are all available if I choose to use them, which, in most cases, I don't. I like the basic plain white template and I don't get enough emails to need to prioritize them. But that's ok. I'm not forced into using any of those features.

My blogging days began with this very site, some five and a half years ago! Since then I have posted almost 350 ramblings of varying interest. I have witnessed at least two major updates to the Blogger system. The first I adapted to quickly, considering it an improvement over the previous version, but the most recent I never really warmed to. The "Reading List" at the bottom of the Dashboard cannot be turned off from what I can see. The only thing I have in there is your own "Blogger Buzz", which I couldn't care less about, but I can't turn it off!! I get repeated errors while writing blogs as well, from my paragraph format screwing up when I add an image, to random double spaces, or errors when I hit Enter twice.

Wave was too confusing for me to understand, along with 95% of potential users it seems.

Buzz held absolutely no interest for me, a view I once again shared with 95% of potential users.

All this brings me to Google Reader.

When I was first shown Reader I was mildly impressed. I could read most of my favourite sites without having to have a million tabs open. It even removed the need to compulsively check if a site had updated yet. As more of my friends got into it, I realised that Reader wasn't just mildly impressive, it was freaking incredible!

Not only could I keep track of everything in one tab, I could read the best of what my friends were following when they shared items! My short list of sites grew swiftly, and soon I had to create multiple folders to keep everything in order. Many of the site I follow were suggested to me by items shared by friends. We could comment on the best, the weirdest, the cutest; sharing not only the article, but also our own thoughts and feelings related to it.

But all that is gone. Google Reader is dead. And you killed it. The latest update has, inexplicably, removed the best feature Reader held. Now it is just my sites, with none of the social interactions.

This, of course, is not just a random, insane move. You want me using Google+, sharing my finds there and commenting through the newest addition to House Google. But therein lies the problem. I couldn't give two fucks about Google+. Since it's release I can count on the fingers of two hands how often I have clicked over to it, in an attempt to see if anything of interest is being posted. Every time I close the tab, reminded why I not only dislike this new feature, but why I disliked it's predecessor, Facebook, as well.

And while I can sort my friends into varying sets, the default, which cannot be altered, shows me everything from everyone. If I could guarantee that people would only use Google+ to share articles in the style of Reader, I could just delete anyone that I didn't follow in Reader, and keep it to that small set of friends whose shared posts I enjoyed reading. But that is not how you want it to be, Google. For one thing, the full post doesn't even show up in the feed, just a preview. I have to click through to read more. You are making it harder for me to share with my friends!

But it's not just the whole push towards Google+ that has gotten me all hot and bothered! No. The new Reader doesn't even fit on my screen. I use a small netbook for my internet needs, and the old Reader worked perfectly fine on it, fitting articles into my screen size 95% of the time. The latest update has extended the width of the main area far beyond the right edge of my screen. To read anything I now have to scroll to the bottom, then use the horizontal scroll bar to move right to read the end of a sentence, the last panel of a webcomic, or see the other 33% of an image. And some images or comics require a second scroll bar within their own feed! Arg, Google! ARG! Text cannot describe how infuriated I am right now!

Gmail has all kinds of features, but it is my choice to use them or not. Blogger can switch back to the older style whenever I want, but for how long? Reader is a permanent, complete change, and I don't get a choice in the matter. It's your way or the highway.

You've crossed the line, Google. You're straying into Facebook, and more recently Netflix, territory, trying to force your users to adopt a new system that benefits you when they are more than happy with the previous one.

Tread carefully Google. You are opening yourself to a new start-up that can provide the same features as the old Reader that the fans loved. And when that happens, I for one will be dropping you like a hot rock and jumping on board.

Denis Ryan

Monday, April 28, 2008

Overheard On...

Gmail. Sometimes, I wonder why I'm let teach small children...
Sinead: wondering what to do for an hour at my desk and not work
me: Should have brought your DS.
Sinead: good idea
or a book
so entertain me
me: Once upon a time...
Sinead: yes...
me: there was a little bear, that lived all by himself in the woods.
One day, Little Bear was out searching for food.
He looked under rocks.
He looked inside tress.
Sinead: what was his name
me: He looked in the water.
L.B.
Sinead: did he find any yet he must be starving
me: But Little Bear, whose name was L.B., could not find anything to eat.
"Where is all the food gaone?" thought L.B.
"Where are all the yummy bugs from under the rocks?"
"Where is all the yummy honey from inside the trees?"
"And where are all the juicey fish that swim in the river?"
Little Bear didn't know.
He looked high up in the trees.
He looked low down in the valleys.
And then, he looked deep down inside a dark cave.
Sinead: oh poor LB
Sent at 1:28 PM on Monday
me: That was when he found the illegally dumped bio-hazardous waste that some careless chemical company had disposed off, allowing it to leak out and kill all the grubs under the rocks, the bees in the trees, and the fish in the rivers. And it killed Little Bear too.

The End.
Sinead: oh
did he have a mam
can she have more babies?
me: No. He lived all alone in the forest, remember. It was at the start.
Sinead: where did he come from
was he little cause he was small, or young
me: His mam had been killed years ago by hunters and was now on display in a café where fat american tourists could pose for photographs.
Sinead: oh was she born in this forest too
me: Yup. She had spent a happy life here until the day a .22 ripped through her like a hot klnife through butter.
Sinead: did LB see it happen
me: Nah. He was playing with Mr. Squirrel and Fluffy Bunny, the Hare in a Rabbit Desguise.
Sinead: are they all dead too?
Sent at 1:35 PM on Monday
me: Yea. Mr. Squirrel had a massive coronary about 6 months ago, and Fluffy Bunny had an unfortunate accident involving an articulated truck and 8 large tires.
Sent at 1:36 PM on Monday

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Overheard On...

Gmail! To be truthful, it was less "overheard", and more typed back and forth, with intermittent "bings" being the only actual sounds, but you get the idea!

Bob: help am being abductd
me: WhA?!? Dammit! They're supposed to take MEEEE! Here! I'm here! I want to see you alien mothership!!!
Whisk me away into the stars! I'm ready!
TAKE MEEEEE!!!!!
Sent at 12:03 AM on Thursday
Bob: ZAadefn #
me: What?!? Yes! I understand! I'll happily allow that.
As your people say, ZETdefreww CWE ~~@S Eef.
Sent at 12:07 AM on Thursday
Bob: dam it
me: Buh? Did they leave? Are they coming for me?? Oh god! I need to pack.
Sent at 12:10 AM on Thursday
Bob: ack
me: Ack?
Bob: ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack ack
ack ack ack ?
me: Ack-ack-ack ackack!
Nanoo-nanoo!
Sent at 12:15 AM on Thursday
Bob: Durka-durka, durka-durka probe-u-later?
me: Probe-u-later? I hardly know 'er!! Ah-hahahahaha!!
Sent at 12:17 AM on Thursday
Posted direct and unedited, even leaving in the hurriedly typed awful spelling and grammar!