Monday, April 28, 2008

Overheard On...

Gmail. Sometimes, I wonder why I'm let teach small children...
Sinead: wondering what to do for an hour at my desk and not work
me: Should have brought your DS.
Sinead: good idea
or a book
so entertain me
me: Once upon a time...
Sinead: yes...
me: there was a little bear, that lived all by himself in the woods.
One day, Little Bear was out searching for food.
He looked under rocks.
He looked inside tress.
Sinead: what was his name
me: He looked in the water.
Sinead: did he find any yet he must be starving
me: But Little Bear, whose name was L.B., could not find anything to eat.
"Where is all the food gaone?" thought L.B.
"Where are all the yummy bugs from under the rocks?"
"Where is all the yummy honey from inside the trees?"
"And where are all the juicey fish that swim in the river?"
Little Bear didn't know.
He looked high up in the trees.
He looked low down in the valleys.
And then, he looked deep down inside a dark cave.
Sinead: oh poor LB
Sent at 1:28 PM on Monday
me: That was when he found the illegally dumped bio-hazardous waste that some careless chemical company had disposed off, allowing it to leak out and kill all the grubs under the rocks, the bees in the trees, and the fish in the rivers. And it killed Little Bear too.

The End.
Sinead: oh
did he have a mam
can she have more babies?
me: No. He lived all alone in the forest, remember. It was at the start.
Sinead: where did he come from
was he little cause he was small, or young
me: His mam had been killed years ago by hunters and was now on display in a café where fat american tourists could pose for photographs.
Sinead: oh was she born in this forest too
me: Yup. She had spent a happy life here until the day a .22 ripped through her like a hot klnife through butter.
Sinead: did LB see it happen
me: Nah. He was playing with Mr. Squirrel and Fluffy Bunny, the Hare in a Rabbit Desguise.
Sinead: are they all dead too?
Sent at 1:35 PM on Monday
me: Yea. Mr. Squirrel had a massive coronary about 6 months ago, and Fluffy Bunny had an unfortunate accident involving an articulated truck and 8 large tires.
Sent at 1:36 PM on Monday


Hazel said...

You NEEDS to make this a very graphic 'children's' book. With a big 'NOT FOR CHILDREN' sticker across the front. We don't want a repeat of the Perry Bible Fellowship incident in Easons. Unless we do. Cos it's funny.

Denis said...

Totally! Great idea. Some day I'll give it a shot.