No Spoilers!

Back in my day, we had TV ad breaks and pre-show cinema trailers, and we liked it!

Actually, we hated it. I recall trying to download tiny pixelated 480P trailers on the college computers at UCC just so I could watch Spider-Man web a helicopter full of bank thieves between two iconic buildings in New York. 

There was a time, however brief, when people would pay to see a mediocre movie just to watch a new trailer for a major upcoming release, such as The Matrix or Lord of the Rings. 

Today’s standard deluge of endless previews and promos and extended scenes and “first five minutes” were unheard of. You got a few trailers in the months running up to release, all made up of broadly the same footage, with maybe one or two unique shots to justify it’s existence. 

If feels like these days you can piece together 75% of a movie from the promotional material. In fact, the inspiration for this post was a clip from the soon to launch Hawkeye series for Disney+ that I watched just before starting to write this. I didn’t mind because the clip was short and while I’m looking forward to the series, I’m not super worried about light spoilers. It’s not like an official promo piece was going to spoil the ending or anything before the series even airs, unlike all those “What the Last 3 Minutes of the Big New Movie That Only Came Out Today Means” that are all over YouTube for every major release. 

On the other hand, I am already 100% sold on the upcoming Spider-Man Marvel Universe movie, No Way Home. If I don’t see a single frame, set photo, news article, rumour or trailer before I see the movie in theatres this December, I’ll be delighted! I have a bunch of keywords muted on Twitter in the hopes that they won’t show up on my feed. 

However, last Tuesday a new trailer dropped, with loads of new footage and new big plot reveals. I had long before decided that nothing would get me to watch it, but as soon as it was online, YouTube helpfully pushed it into my suggested feed. Not an issue, I can just not click on it. But there was a new character reveal right there in the thumbnail. Worse, while I had gathered enough rumours in the months previously that I expected this particular character to appear, I now had their new look spoiled on me. 

I miss going in to movies blind, being totally shocked by every twist and turn of the plot, every reveal and cameo. It feels like the only way to achieve that today is to swear off the internet in the months before the release. And as much as I love you, Spider-Man, I love the internet more. 

Rogue One Ada Zero

Last night we watched Rogue One at our place. I hadn't seen it since the cinema, and Claire had never seen it. I liked as much as I did the first time, and while it's not perfect, it's still pretty amazing. At least it's better than the remake of A New Hope they put out under the title The Force Awakens. I love Baze and Chirrut, and K-2SO is a solid addition to the droids.

Rogue One also became the first Star Wars movie Ada has experienced, at least in part. She was awake when it started, and excited to see the spaceships and stars. But she fell asleep about half an hour in and I put her to bed.

I can't wait to show her A New Hope. She already recognises a lightsaber thanks to a story book she has about Return of the Jedi. It brought me no end of joy when, while in a toy store recently, she spontaneously picked up a lightsaber, held it to me, and said "whoom-whoom".

She'll make a great role-playing, board game loving, sci fi nerd.

 

The Dark Knight Rises Is A Bad Movie

With Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice due out this week, and early reviews slamming it already, I feel it's time to post my thoughts on Batman's last appearance on the big screen. This was originally written as an email to a friend shortly after the movie originally came out. I've just cleaned it up a bit to post here.

When I first voiced my dislike of the third Christopher Nolan Batman movie, I annoyed some of my friends, who were so sure The Dark Knight Rises was a perfect movie walking out of the theatre. I remember review sites were getting threats from readers if they gave it a less-than-perfect rating. But it doesn't deserve a perfect rating. It doesn't even deserve a good one.

Firstly, I want to say that I did enjoy parts of the movie. I thought the cameo from Liam Neeson was well done, and I squeed loudly when Cillian Murphy appeared. I also enjoyed seeing the ridiculous Batpod doing it's spinning wheel sideways thing. But, there are massive problems with this movie. This is my list, and only my list. It's the things that I noticed personally. I've tried to avoid including things that I've read online since. This is about my issues.

1- It's a movie where we see Batman recover and return TWICE! The first time, he goes from being a cripple for 8 years to being A-okay in a matter of days, if not hours. A high-tech leg brace gives him back all his agility and strength. The second time he recovers from a broken back by having his spine PUNCHED back into line!?!? I would actually have given either one of the recoveries as part of the suspension of disbelief that movies, especially comic book movies, require, but the second made both stand out as stupid.

2- Even more than previous movies, the inconsistency of Batman's belief in not using guns was more evident. He uses guns and missiles on the Tumbler, Batpod and the Bat. While you can argue that they're only used on scenery, that gets thrown out the window at the end when he fires directly at the cab of Talia's truck. Batman has always been known for his gadgets over guns, but here "gadgets" just means bigger guns. Where's his super-epoxy truck sticking foam, or bat-EMP truck disabling beam, or just tire-destroying bat-caltrops?

3- While on the subject of missiles- I loved the magic missiles that Selina used on the Batpod to unblock the tunnel. A few shots into several tonnes of wrecked cars and a perfect V-shaped hole appears to be cut right through.

4- Those cops were down there in the tunnels for 3 months. Hundreds of them. Where did they shit? Where did they clean their uniforms? Where did they maintain their guns? How did the resistance get that much food down to them to keep them not only alive, but able to stay in shape?

5- How did one opening rescue them all? Were they all trapped conveniently together in one chamber? That's not how it looked when the bombs went off.

6- They were just below street level, as seen several times. Could they not have just dug down through a nearby building floor? I'd accept that just blowing the street open might be enough to let the trigger-man hit the button and detonate the bomb, but they weren't a million miles underground, and they had THREE MONTHS to rescue them! They could have done it in secret in a building!

7- What was with that 3 month time-limit anyway? The bomb was always going to go off. Everyone was always going to die. It made no sense. There was no redemption, no chance to become better, to take back the city. They were all just dead, they just didn't know it. Clearly, Talia failed to read the Evil Overlords Handbook.

8- Batman recovers from a broken spine in THREE MONTHS! Yes, I covered this earlier, but what if the bomb only had energy for 2.5 months. They'd all be fucked. It was a weak plot device. I mean, seriously, he gets back into Gotham with hours to spare, from where-ever he was abandoned in the world. And how did he afford to fly back to the US, not to mention get into the country WITHOUT A PASSPORT!

9- The bomb is referred to differently during the movie, the worst of all was when it is called a "Neutron bomb"... which doesn't even explode with the classical nuclear mushroom cloud devastation. It just emits a neutron burst, which wouldn't affect buildings!

10- Let's look at the bomb a bit more: It was originally a clean-energy fussion device until Bruce mothballed it because it could be used as a weapon, and he hates weapons. Except, as previously noted, on his vehicles. How did he get so far into the project that he spent billions of dollars without anyone pointing out that any form of fussion reaction could, potentially be used as a weapon? How is there only one person on the planet capable of deactivating the bomb? He must have been involved with the fussion reactors creation, but did he work entirely alone, with no team, no colleagues, no documented paperwork?!?

11- Wayne Industries is broke because Bruce has gone underground. What kind of company literally cannot function without one man? If that's the case, Apple would have been fucked without Steve (it might still be, to be honest)! What was that board of directors doing for the last 8 years? What of all the other parts of the company? Were they all shut down to finance the mothballed fussion reactor?

12- Joseph Gordon Levitt was the best thing in that movie. He spoke clearly, unlike almost everyone else, had valid character motivations, and stuck to his convictions throughout, but he was woefully underused. Bruce should have stayed broken, he should have been The Batman in the finale.

13- How could the police not find Bane's construction underground. Yes, there are miles of tunnels under there, but don't start at random man-holes around the city. Start at the fucking water tunnel where all the bodies keep appearing and follow the water back along. It's not that hard, dumb-asses.

14- Why is there a rope sitting at the top of The Pit when Bruce gets out? Does no-one in there have families, friends, evil organisation co-workers, or anyone willing to just walk out there and throw the rope down to rescue them? There are NO GUARDS! EVER! Just walk out of that enormous city we see, throw down the rope that is right there and walk away. And why does Bruce throw it down? Are they all just political prisoners, white-collar criminals that won't get out and return to a life of raping, murdering and pillaging? Or does he just trust that their time in The Pit has reformed them all into good citizens?

15- "Welcome back Mister Wayne. Sure hope you remembered where you parked the Bat because I don't have access to any others that I plan to sell to the military at the end of all this after you're dead." "Yup. On a rooftop that no-one in the last three months has gone up to. No one. Not one single per- FUCK! IT'S GONE! Also: What?"

16- "The bomb is ticking down it's last minutes. Let's all stop to listen to Talia's dieing ranting. Man, I hope those injuries are enough to kill her in the next 30 seconds, or we're all dead."

17- "Only 1 minute 57 seconds left on the bomb. I'll just stop to give everyone a pep-talk, kiss this cat burglar who everyone has avoided calling Catwoman for the last three hours and reveal to Gordon who I really am under the mask, by making a reference to an event decades ago that he only ever could have done once, because I'm the only person that Gordon has probably ever comforted in his entire career in the service."

18- "Aw. Batman died saving everybody. Well, better get back to selling these high-tech batwings to the military. You two random techies, fix the auto-pilot in this thing that looks kind of like the thing Batman used to fly, but it's not, because this one is in military camo and his was black. Also, I totally don't work for Batman. What's that you say? The auto pilot is fixed? By Bruce Wayne? Three months ago? Why the fuck would Bruce fix the auto-pilot in the model he's not even using? And when did Bruce learn to program complex auto-pilot routines for experimental helicopter designs? And when or how did he test this? And OH MY GOD HE'S ALIVE!" Dun-dun-duuuuuunnnnn.

19- "Nice of Master Bruce to give the house to the orphans. Sure hope none of them mess around with that piano."

20- "Wow! All this cool shit. Look at that. I get to be the new Batman! Woo-hoo! Now, how do I afford to repair any of this when it gets damaged, or even fuel the Tumbler. In fact, how do I adjust any of these suits to fit my clearly very different stature. Fuckit. I'll just go home."

21- The movie was far too long. I felt the set-up scenes were poorly played, and I actually got confused because I lost focus on what was happening. I thought it was Selina that Bruce sleeps with in the mansion during the rain-storm and the power-outage. That was the plot-point I missed entirely for the end of the movie when Batman seems so focused on saving what-ever her name is that turns out to be Talia. I kept thinking "Why does he seem to give such a shit about this board-member? Why is she important?"

22- This final one is something that I disliked, but others didn't seem to mind: There was no fan-service, nothing only for the comic readers. Like in Avengers, we had the Thanos reveal, or in Thor, we had the artifacts in Odin's museum and the Cosmic Cube in the after-credits scene. Even as far back as Iron Man, we had the Nick Fury reveal. Stuff that left the long-time fans whooping and cheering, but left the casual fan that just turned up for the movie intrigued about what they just saw, but not feeling lost or missing a key plot-point. The little extras to reward the nerds. Batman never had that. Everything was clearly explained. There was nothing only for the comic reader. And there was opportunity! Right at the end: "Something for John Blake?... Oh, maybe my full name: Robin." As subtle as a brick, and unconnected to the comics in every way apart from the use of those 5 letters in that order. Why not "Something for John Blake?... Oh, maybe my birth name, Tim Drake?" There. Better! The fans get the "Woot!" moment, the rest get, "Oh, he's someone he didn't appear to be, but it's not as important as learning he's becoming the new Batman."

That's it. That's my teardown of The Dark Knight Rises. Don't expect one on Batman V Superman anytime soon. I do not plan on seeing it.

You shouldn't either.

The Trouble With Trailers

The purpose of movie trailers is to entice the general public in to see your movie. It should grab the attention of the viewer and make them interested in learning more, in discovering the full story and, ultimately, giving you their cash in ticket prices or sales.

It should not reveal, or appear to reveal the entire story. The trailer for The Martian contains a scene from the climax of the book. Now, admittedly, maybe it's only obvious to me because I had read the book, but still. The trailer for Terminator: Genisys has a major reveal! I was warned in advance, and loved the twist when I saw it in theatres. But, as Honest Trailers point out, that's nothing new for the Terminator franchise. Only watch this if you've seen both T2 and Genisys.

As a matter of fact, as a viewer, I've learned to stop watching trailers once I'm hooked. I only watched that first trailer for The Martian, and I really enjoyed it, despite having previously read the superior novel. As mentioned, Genisys was a really great experience in the cinema, a lot of fun, even if it was only an okay movie, but mostly because I hadn't seen the trailers.

Once I've decided to see a movie, I'm pretty much done with trailers. It sometimes take more than one, but more often than not, the first real trailer is enough to get my attention. I've only seen that first, "Chewie, we're home" trailer for the Force Awakens and avoided screenshots, additional footage and any or all talk about it. I'm looking forward to seeing this on a big, big screen, with the best quality surround sound. I'm going to enjoy going in almost completely unspoiled and coming out, hopefully, with a smile on my face.

But I'm not nearly as excited for the Force as I am for a Civil War. This. Just this.

Done. Completely, utterly done. No more trailers, no behind the scenes, no photos from the set, and definitely no "exclusive footage". I'm already excited. I don't need any more.

Roll on May, 2016!

A Poorly Baked Soufflé Of Darkness

Caveat: This breakdown of my issues with Batman: The Dark Knight Rises is going to be jam packed with spoilers, from opening scenes to closing action. If you haven't seen TDKR and plan on, maybe you should stop reading now. At time of writing, it is about to be released on DVD and BluRay, or, if you live in the 21st Century like most people do, direct digital download.

Firstly, I did enjoy parts of the movie, and in the past I have stated that I might "still recommend people go see it", but not now. I've rested on this issue for a few months, and my final opinion is that it is just as bad movie, and not worth your money. I did love the cameos from Liam Neeson and Cillian Murphy, and squeed loudly when Cillian appeared (I did warn you there would be spoilers). I also enjoyed seeing the ridiculous Batpod doing it's spinning wheel sideways thing. But, Avengers was far more enjoyable and true to the comic-book movie ideal.

There are massive problems with this movie. This is my list, and only my list. It's the things that I noticed personally. I've tried to avoid including things that I've read online. This is about my issues.

Finally, before we begin proper, the following numbered list uses an excessive amount of text in full capitalization. This is because there are just some moments that are too stupid not to shout about.

1- TDKR is a movie where we see Batman recover and return TWICE! The first time, he goes from being a cripple for eight years to being A-okay in a matter of days, if not hours. A high-tech leg brace gives him back all his agility and strength. The second time he recovers from a broken back by having his spine PUNCHED back into line?!?!? I would actually have given either one of the recoveries as part of the suspension of disbelief that movies, especially comic book movies, require, but the second made both stand out as stupid.

2- Even more than previous movies, the inconsistency of Batman's belief in not using guns was more evident. He uses guns and missiles on the Tumbler, Batpod and the Bat. While you can argue that they're only used on scenery, that gets thrown out the window at the end when he fires directly at the cab of Talia's (Er... Spoiler?) truck. Batman has always been known for his gadgets over guns, but here "gadgets" just means bigger guns. Where's his super-epoxy truck sticking foam, or bat-EMP truck disabling beam, or just tire-destroying bat-caltrops?

3- While on the subject of missiles- I loved the magic missiles that Selina used on the Batpod to unblock the tunnel. A few shots into several tonnes of wrecked cars and a perfect V-shaped hole appears to be cut right through.

4- Those cops were down there in the tunnels for five months. Hundreds of them. Where did they shit? Where did they clean their uniforms? Where did they maintain their guns? How did the resistance get that much food down to them to keep them not only alive, but able to stay in shape?

5- How did one opening rescue them all? Were they all trapped conveniently together in one chamber? That's not how it looked when the bombs went off.

6- They were just below street level, as seen several times. Could they not have just dug down through a nearby building floor? I'd accept that just blowing the street open might be enough to let the trigger-man hit the button and detonate the bomb, but they weren't a million miles underground, and they had FIVE MONTHS to rescue them! They could have done it in secret in a building!

7- What was with that 5 month time-limit anyway? The bomb was always going to go off. Everyone was always going to die. It made no sense. There was no redemption, no chance to become better, to take back the city. They were all dead, they just didn't know it. Clearly, Talia failed to read the Evil Overlords Handbook.

8- Batman recovers from a broken spine in FIVE MONTHS! Yes, I covered this earlier, but what if the bomb only had energy for 2.5 months. They'd all be fucked. It was a weak plot device. I mean, seriously, he gets back into Gotham with hours to spare, from where-ever he was abandoned in the world. And how did he afford to fly back to the US, not to mention get into the country WITHOUT A PASSPORT!

9- The bomb is referred to differently during the movie, the worst of all was when it is called a "Neutron bomb"... which doesn't even explode with the classical nuclear mushroom cloud devastation. It just emits a neutron bust, which wouldn't affect buildings!

10- Let's look at that bomb a bit more: It was originally a clean-energy fusion device until Bruce mothballed it because it could be used as a weapon, and he hates weapons. Except, as previously noted, on his vehicles. How did he get so far into the project that he spent billions of dollars without anyone pointing out that any form of fusion reaction could, potentially be used as a weapon? How is there only one person on the planet capable of deactivating the bomb? He must have been involved with the fusion reactors creation, but did he work entirely alone, with no team, no colleagues, no documented paperwork?!?

11- Wayne Industries is broke because Bruce has gone underground. What kind of company literally cannot function without one man? If that's the case, Apple is fucked without Steve! What was that board of directors doing for the last eight years? What of all the other parts of the company? Were they all shut down to finance the mothballed fusion reactor?

12- Joseph Gordon Levitt was the best thing in that movie. He spoke clearly, unlike almost everyone else, had valid character motivations, and stuck to his convictions throughout, but he was woefully underused. Bruce should have stayed broken, he should have been The Batman in the finale.

13- How could the police not find Banes construction underground. Yes, there are miles of tunnels under there, but don't start at random man-holes around the city. Start at the fucking water tunnel where all the bodies keep appearing and follow the water back along. It's not that hard, dumb-asses.

14- Why is there a rope sitting at the top of The Pit when Bruce gets out? Does no-one in there have families, friends, evil organisation co-workers, or anyone willing to just walk out there and throw the rope down to rescue them? There are NO GUARDS! EVER! Just walk out of that enormous city we see, throw down the rope that is right there and walk away. And why does Bruce throw it down? Are they all just political prisoners, white-collar criminals that won't get out and return to a life of raping, murdering and pillaging? Or does he just trust that their time in the Pit has reformed them all into good citizens?

15- "Welcome back Mister Wayne. Sure hope you remembered where you parked the Bat because I don't have access to any others that I plan to sell to the military at the end of all this after you're dead." "Yup. On a rooftop that no-one in the last five months has gone up to. No one. Not one single per- FUCK! IT'S GONE! Also: What?"

16- "The bomb is ticking down it's last minutes. Let's all stop to listen to Talia's dieing ranting. Man, I hope those injuries are enough to kill her in the next 30 seconds, or we're all dead."

17- "Only 1 minute 57 seconds left on the bomb. I'll just stop to give everyone a pep-talk, kiss this cat burglar who everyone has avoided calling Catwoman for the last three hours and reveal to Gordon who I really am under the mask, by making a reference to an event decades ago that he only ever could have done once, because I'm the only person the Gordon has probably ever comforted in his entire career in the service."

18- "Aw. Batman died saving everybody. Well, better get back to selling these high-tech batwings to the military. You two random techies, fix the auto-pilot in this thing that looks kind of like the thing Batman used to fly, but it's not, because this one is in military camo and his was black. Also, I totally don't work for Batman. What's that you say? The auto pilot is fixed? By Bruce Wayne? Five months ago? Why the fuck would Bruce fix the auto pilot in the model he's not even using? And when did Bruce learn to program complex auto-pilot routines for experimental helicopter designs? And when or how did he test this? And OH MY GOD HE'S ALIVE! Dun-dun-duuuuuunnnnn. What? Why, yes, yes I did just say dun-dun-dun."

19- "Nice of Master Bruce to give the house to the orphans. Sure hope none of them mess around with that piano."

20- "Wow! All this cool shit. Look at that. I get to be the new Batman! Woo-hoo! Now how do I afford to repair any of this when it gets damaged, or even fuel the Tumbler. In fact, how do I adjust any of these suits to fit my clearly very different stature. Fuckit. I'll just go home."

21- The movie was far too long. I felt the set-up scenes were poorly played, and I actually got confused because I lost focus on what was happening. I thought it was Selina that Bruce sleeps with in the mansion during the rain-storm and the power-outage. That resulted in me missing a plot point entirely for the end of the movie when Batman seems so focused on saving what-ever her name is that turns out to be Talia. I kept thinking "Why does he seem to give such a shit about this board-member? Why is she important?"

22- This final one is something that I disliked, but others didn't seem to mind: There was no fan-service, nothing only for the comic readers. Like in Avengers, we had the Thanos reveal, or in Thor, we had the artifacts in Odins museum and the Cosmic Cube in the after-credits scene. Even as far back as Iron Man, we had the Nick Fury reveal. Stuff that left the long-time fans whooping and cheering, but left the casual fan that just turned up for the movie intrigued about what they just saw, but not feeling lost or missing a key plot-point. The little extras to reward the nerds. Batman never had that. Everything was clearly explained. There was nothing only for the comic reader. And there was opportunity! Right at the end: "Something for John Blake?... Oh, maybe my full name: Robin." As subtle as a brick, and unconnected to the comics in every way apart from the use of those 5 letters in that order. Why not "Something for John Blake?... Oh, maybe my birth name, Tim Drake?" There. Better! The fans get the "Woot!" moment, the rest get, "Oh, he's someone he didn't appear to be, but it's not as important as learning he's becoming the new Batman."

And that's it. Honestly there were more than 22 points during an earlier draft of this post, but an epic fuck-up on my part caused me to delete the entire post, so this is the striped down version. Some dropped paragraphs included choice moments like: why did Gordon keep that revealing speech in his pocket for so long, how does it go from bright day to dark night in the time it takes to drive through a tunnel, why does Batman waste what little time he has on his return to paint a giant bat-symbol in petrol on the bridge? There are detailed breakdowns of the movie by hundreds of people online, and many have some great points that further support my belief that The Dark Knight Rises is simply a bad movie, but this post is my story. It is about the things that jumped out at me and stopped me in my tracks while sitting inside the theater, watching the movie itself.

The Dark Knight Rises is a terribly constructed, poorly written piece of cinema that does nothing good for the career of the person who directed Memento, Inception and The Prestige. Ignore this tragedy and track down a copy of Batman: Mask of the Phantasm instead.

Movie Review: Dredd 3D

Last night I went to see the newly released Dredd 3D, based on the 2000AD character and world of Judge Dredd. I wasn't sure what I was in for to be honest. I'd seen one or two clips, but generally avoided anything about the movie. All I knew was that it was going to be ultra violent, in 3D, have slow motion action scenes and star Doctor McCoy from Star Trek 2009 and Sarah Connor from the TV series Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

Very quickly after the movie started I learned that the entire cast and crew had clearly been assembled very carefully. From the few main characters, through the disposable single-scene walking corpses, to the choice for director, costume designer, Special Effects team and composer, every aspect of Dredd is lovingly and painstakingly rendered from someones imagination onto the big screen. And it shows. In every scene.

Judge Dredd's home of Mega City One is pulled back from the epicness of the comics incarnation to something closer to the modern view of a dystopian city. It is more open and brighter than the comics, with the huge mega block apartments dominating the skyline. I don't have an issue with this rather dramatic change. I've never had a problem with updates to ideas that were originally created 20, 30, or even 40 years ago, especially when the medium portraying the material is different from the original source. X-Men got their black leathers and Spider-Man's biting spider was genetically engineered, not radioactive. It's no big. The story is the important part.

The main plot of Dredd is that the title Judge and a newly assigned rookie have to go into a mega block, deal with a minor problem and then leave. Except things don't go as planned and Dredd and the rookie get trapped inside, fighting for their lives. However, the far more interesting story is the growth and development of Dredd's new sidekick, a fresh-faced young Judge on her first, and possibly last day. Karl Urban does a great job delivering Dredd's one-liners and grimaces, but Olivia Tirlby stole the entire movie for me. She was spectacular in the role of rookie Judge Anderson, and really sold the slow changes in Anderson's personality over the course of the movie, from a Judge who had never seen real combat to a meaner, tougher, deadlier one by her final scene.

I still dislike 3D. It's a gimmick that just is not going away, despite a friends assurance that it would be a short-lived fad many years ago. I dislike the uncomfortable glasses I have to wear over my own glasses[1], or the extra surcharge slapped onto ticket prices for a feature I almost entirely believe adds nothing to the final movie apart from eye strain and a potential headache. However, I really enjoyed the use of 3D in Dredd. Not only did it make the slo-mo action scenes have more punch, but director Pete Travis actually used the 3D to help tell the story in certain scenes, revealing different layers of the image slowly by moving from one depth to the next, or moving through a scene by changing the focus, not moving the actual camera itself. I genuinely believe that this is the first time I felt the 3D was used to positively enhance the story-telling in the movie. I enjoyed the 3D in The Amazing Spider-Man, but only because it was used in some clever ways, but it still didn't add anything to the final product. I would have happily watched Spider-Man in 2D had I the option, but with Dredd I'd recommend the 3D version to everyone.

There have been few movies lately that even scratch the levels of violence in Dredd. The slo-mo gun fights allow for spectacularly violent moments of gore, but everything is presented in an almost animated, cartoon fashion, with bright colours and bright red blood splatters. People die in bloody messes, and in their dozens, but it's hard to be shocked by anything due to how it was all presented. In fact, the slo-mo means that there are very few actual shocking moments, instead telegraphing everything at painfully slow speed so that you can almost feel every impact. During these moments, you can hear the entire theater holding their breathes, followed by a loud "Oooh" once the impact hits. If you've seen the movie, you know exactly the scene I'm taking about!

Dredd 3D is a spectacle best viewed on the big screen. Whether you believe my opinions on the 3D or not, do go see it in the theaters. It's a fun group experience, sharing in the "oohs" and the "ewws". The cast is strong, the effects are effective and the soundtrack even makes a Justin Bieber track bearable in one scene! Highly recommended.

[1]- I actually solved the problem of wearing the 3D glasses by keeping the really nice and comfortable pair I got attending The Amazing Spider-Man. They are light, soft and I don't even notice I'm wearing them. I brought them along to Dredd as well, which may have contributed to my overall enjoyment of the 3D.

Permission To Proceed

It's been a while since The Dark Knight Rises hit theatres everywhere. Even on the first weekend I had started to see people complaining about the movie online, and while I had my fair share of issues with it, I felt it was unfair to potentially spoil the movie for anyone at the early stage.

However, I did write a long email about the many problems I had with the movie and I do want  to clean that up somewhat and to post it here. So I'm asking now: Do any of my readers who have yet to catch TDKR still plan on seeing the third act of the trilogy, or has everyone seen it already? Can I go ahead and post my grievances here, or would you prefer I waited until after the DVD release?

Speak up now, or forever hold your peace.

I'll leave this sit until this coming weekend, and make my decision then.

From Begins To Rises

With the third Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises, due out tomorrow, I thought I'd post a quick recap for anyone who has forgotten the story up to now, or readers who plan on jumping in at this point without seeing the previous two[1].

Everything you need to know about the most recent movie version of Batman.

Steve Wayne is this dude who crashed to earth as a child and was raised by Amazonians before his uncle was killed in front of him down a dark alley. Wallowing in self pity, he was driving along a lonely road when an alien crashed, bestowing a powerful ring to him, powered by vengeance. Using the ring to form a hammer that can call down lightning, he hunted down this immortal dude from Star Wars, before battling the Clown Prince of Crime, Deadpool, and destroying most of the city he calls home, causing millions and millions of rupees in damages.

Somewhere along the way he successfully funneled billions of his own company's money, spending them on ridiculous inventions and experimental technologies for his own private, personal use.

Apart from that, all you need to know if that the police and, inexplicably, the citizens who have to put up with his wanton rampages and the resulting increase in taxes to cover city-wide repairs, allow him to continue operating. He's the hero the city needs, not the one it wants. Remember, he doesn't have to kill people, he just doesn't have to save them... which makes about as much sense as a cock flavored popsicle. While we're on the subject of nonsense, Batman never uses guns, unless they're on his car, the Quinjet, at which point it's okay to use only high caliber machine guns capable of shredding a person in half, but rockets as well. Also, he drives over people in their cars too while in his 2.5 tonne personal tank.

There's a reason the city doesn't want him.

You're welcome.

[1] - This was written for a friend who plans on doing the latter, so I hope I covered all the important points. In case I missed any, feel free to leave them in the comments.

Movie Review: Spidey On Spidey

Hi ho, Readers! It's your friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man here! Denis has kindly allowed me to do a guest post on his blog, as we're reviewing the newly released "The Amazing Spider-Man".

I'll try not to be as cliched as to use such adjectives as "amazing" or "spectacular" while writing this review, but one or two might slip in, as the movie was, in my humble opinion, incredible! Director Marc Webb proved himself worthy of the task at hand, living up to the comic action and proving he wasn't just chosen for the comedy value of seeing his name in the opening credits! He did a great job on not just the action scenes, but everything from the softer, quieter moments, to my loud-mouth, mid-fight quips.

I was especially impressed with the choice of cast. There wasn't a weak link among the lot of them, from the always wonderful Martin Sheen to Dennis Leary, an actor who I feel deserves more roles than he seems to get. Andrew Garfield was a great choice to play my civilian identity, and Emma Stone played a powerful and strong-willed Gwen Stacy, pretty much as I remember her...

Sorry. Had to take a moment there. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. The entire cast was superb. My only complaint about the cast, in fact, was that some didn't get as much character time as I would have hoped. Everyone was so strong in their role, I would have been happy to see more time given to any or all of them. My friend Stan Lee gets his best cameo yet in this outing, inciting laughs throughout the theater during his short scene on-camera.

But what of the star himself, me! The new costume is wonderful. I might have to try to get myself a custom version, as the kids will only recognize me in that now. Assuming they didn't hire one of my many clones as the stunt double, the CG me is a great facsimile. It really looked like it had mass behind it, and moved better than previous attempts to fake me on-screen. I was especially impressed with my training scene in the warehouse, which looked like a lot of fun. Special shout-out to whoever reproduced my webs. They had lots of tiny details, and looked great on the big screen. They were especially effective in 3D.

Which brings me to the hot topic of modern cinema. Let's talk 3D.

First and foremost, if you're wondering how I managed to watch the movie in 3D, thankfully, the lenses in my mask are polarized, so I don't have to wear those silly glasses. That's doubly good, as they'd be enormous on me, and I don't have ears to hang them on. Normally, I prefer to see movies in 2D. However, in this case, the 3D was really good!

No, no, no! Bare with me. I know. I usually hate 3D too (As do I- Denis). But it really was used extraordinarily well here (As much as I hate too, I have to agree- Denis). There is a great use of 3D with web-lines in a sewer, and the web-swinging through Manhattan worked much better in the final movie than it ever did in the early trailers. It still wasn't much compared to doing the real thing, but a good try. To be fair, if one hero was going to benefit from 3D, it was always going to be me! I even flinched during one scene, something I haven't done in any other extra-D movie.

Finally, I have to say something about the soundtrack. This is especially worth mention, as I noticed and enjoyed it so much. The score was fantastic, with some noticeably beautiful pieces throughout. It was truly orchestral at times, really adding to the emotion or action on-screen. While my friends in the Avengers still reign supreme as the best super-hero movie overall, I think I deserve the "Best Score" award.

Unlike some, I was a big fan of the earlier Spider-Man movie series. Well, the first two at least. Even then, this one blows those previous efforts out of the water, for story, character and effects. There is so little to complain about for me, despite the fact that it doesn't strictly follow my personal mythology. It really is an exceptionally fun piece of cinema, even if it'll never win an Oscar and I give it two Spidey thumbs-up all the way! Highly recommended.

Review: Marvel's The Avengers

I've been waiting to see this since the after-credits scene from Iron Man back in 2008. I've watched all the related movies, most more than once. I adore the choices made in actors for the characters, and I had faith that Joss Whedon could succeed in producing a big cast movie that gave everyone their due time in the spotlight.

I went to book tickets for The Avengers last Tuesday afternoon in a big, flashy, new, high-tech movie theater in Downtown Vancouver, only to find out that it was effectively sold out and what seats were left were either right up the front or at the extreme left or right sides. Instead, my friends and I headed for a cinema on Cambie that was also showing the movie.

The Park Theatre is one of three cinemas owned and operated by Festival Cinemas, an independent cinema group. Built in 1941, it still maintains a classic feel to it, from the single ticket counter at the front to the concession stand just before you reach the single screen. However, recent renovations mean that it can play summer blockbusters as good as the big boys, in 3D with full surround sound.

The staff are lovely, the butter is real (though why people put butter on popcorn still confuses me), and the seating is comfy. In fact, even more than comfy, the Park Theatre sports "love seats", with the ability to raise the armrest so you can snuggle with your loved one and enjoy the movie together.We didn't realise this last night, but we'll know for the future! I plan on making good use of it.

This has become, after just a single viewing experience, my favourite theatre in the Vancouver area. We've all decided that it will be our first theatre of choice for any upcoming movies for the foreseeable future. A wonderful, friendly experience.

Oh, and The Avengers was awesome. But then, you knew that already.

Fan Expo Vancouver: From One Rocketeer To Another

If you know me or follow my blog for long enough, you may have gotten the slight impression that I have a favourite genre. I've long been a fan of the pulp era. I love the Indiana Jones heroism, the lost cities, the deep jungles, the mysteries and marvels. I adore the fashion and wish some of it would swing back into fashion while I can still enjoy it! I just love the pulp era novels, the action, adventure and thrilling tales of daring-do! It's even been the genre of my most successful RPG campaign,  and it all started in 1991.

Now, admittedly, I had already been a fan of Indiana Jones at this point, but in the summer of 1991, I learned about the word "pulp", and what it meant. I saw, and fell completely into the world of, The Rocketeer!

The movie adaptation of Dave Stevens comic book stayed with me for years, taking up residence in the back of my brain, slipping out in dreams. When I got to college I discovered role-playing and found a hobby and friends where I could live out my adventures. Eventually I tracked down a copy of the DVD online and watched it for the first time in years.

And it was even better than I had remembered! It was subtle and witty, romantic and action-packed. It was four-colour action-adventure at it's finest. I watched it twice in two days, and both times were magical. I would watch it again and again, whenever I felt bored or lonely, or just to relive that excitement of childhood.

I wanted to be the Rocketeer, and thanks to the most incredible wife ever, I got to be, just a little. I got the jacket for Christmas, and with the help of the best group of friends in the world, she got me the helmet for my 30th birthday (link includes the video of me receiving the gift).

One of my long-term dreams was to meet Billy Campbell. I wanted to just meet him and tell him how much I enjoyed his portrayal of Cliff Secord. I know that any motion picture is a collaborative effort, with directors, writers and other actors all contributing to the experience, but Billy was Cliff. He was the Rocketeer. So in some small way, he influenced who I am today.

Billy Campbell was a guest at the recent opening year of the Fan Expo Vancouver. Even before I found this out, it had been my intention to attend in costume as The Rocketeer. I mean, really, who else? But once I saw his named added to the official list, my excitement went from "Happy to support a new comics convention" to "Oh. Emm. GEE. *high pitched squeal only dogs can hear*". Claire, once she got her hearing back, agreed to attend too, especially now that she had the opportunity to watch me go speechless.

So last Saturday we got up early, had a shower (a must if ever attending conventions, thank you very much), put on my costume and got into Downtown Vancouver early. The convention opened at 10am, and by 10:15 there was a significant line-up. As we reached the head of the line, one of the staff stopped me and said "You'll be wanting the Electric Playground booth. That's where Bill will be." "Thanks", I responded, grabbed my ticket and headed in.

As it turned out, Billy wasn't due to be at the signing booth until noon, so Claire and I wandered the floor, taking in some of the other attractions available. As noon approached we headed for the booth and joined the queue. I was a bit of a nervous wreck, but was delighted with how many people recognised the costume, both males and females, of all different ages. At one point I glanced across the booth and spotted Billy chatting to some fans. Rather than wait in the queue, I asked Claire to hold my spot, dashed around the area and said "Hi".

I chatted to him briefly, but really just wanted to know if we'd have a chance to get a photo at the booth. He assure me he would be delighted to do so, and I excused myself, returning to Claire.

We stood in line for a few minutes. We were near the head, but there were a few others in front of us waiting to meet other people at the booth. Then the staff called "Hey! Hey, Rocketeer! You just want to see Billy?" "Yeah!" "Come on forward."

First off, Billy is tall! Like, 6'4" tall! You can see the difference in the photos. He wasn't standing on anything. Secondly, every last inch of that 6'4" frame is pure, genuine kindness and decency. He was just incredible to talk to. He was so delighted to see someone wearing the costume, and even asked if he could try on the helmet! Billy "The Rocketeer" Campbell asked if he could try on my helmet that my wife and friends got for me! Now, there may be some vicious rumors going around online that I started crying, but it was just something stuck in my eye. The convention center was very warn with all us nerds in one place...

I had my Rocketeer DVD with me, one of only two DVDs I brought with me from Ireland, and he signed the cover. He even signed my sketch/autograph book too! We talked about the movie, and Dave Stevens, and a bit about the new comics from IDW, a company that really should update its own website with its own licenses. We briefly discussed the new Captain America movie and what a great job Joe Johnson did on it (the connection, for those of you lost on the apparent non-sequitur, is that Joe also directed The Rocketeer), though we both expressed dismay that there was no Billy Campbell cameo!

At the end of the few short minutes we spent talking at the booth, Claire and I whole-heartedly thanked Billy for his time and stepped aside to allow others to meet him. Without Fan Expo Vancouver, I and many other fans of his work would never have gotten to meet him. So thank you to everyone that helped make this event happen, and here's to many more to come!

But as I walked away through the crowds, I turned to my wife and kissed her, thanking her for being who she is and knowing me so well. Without her I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't have the costume I have and I would never have met Billy Campbell.

With Number One crossed off the "People I Most Want To Meet In The World", it's on to Numbers Two and Three, Sigourney Weaver and Dennis Quaid, in that order! Shouldn't be that hard.

Post Script: Two things before I go:

1) While standing in line someone asked to take my photo, then told me he was sending it to a friend. That friend had been one of the producers on The Rocketeer!

2) After signing the DVD, Billy commented that he should have written "From one Rocketeer to another". Don't worry Billy. I'll be back next year, and I'll have something for you to sign that on!

Score One For Games

Classical orchestral pieces have long been acknowledged as stunning examples of music, capable of taking the listener through ranges of emotions, all while really only interacting with a single sense.

Movie scores have shred some of that appreciation during the last few decades. Star Wars, Batman and Tron all have easily identifiable scores that have become classics in their own right. The names John Williams or Danny Elfman can be held up as modern equals to the greats of Beethoven or Mozart. Indeed, the work of John Williams has been a regular favourite of many great orchestras, especially the London Philharmonic Orchestra.

However, despite events such as Video Games Live or the very recently released CD from the London Philharmonic, The Greatest Video Game Music, there still isn't the same level of appreciation for video game scores, and it's a crying shame.

While cut-scenes play out like moments from a movie, unlike movies, video games include incidental music which can be presented as a dynamic addition to the scene or level, shifting tempo and volume according to the actions of the player. This reaction to the events onscreen can deeply effect the level of player immersion into the world. As the music swells in a tense moment, I can feel my pulse quicken, knowing that something is nearby, about to strike.

I'd love to start seeing video game sound tracks get more and more recognition. It's starting to happen now, as major composers are working on games and digital and CD sales of video game score continue to rise.

Several years ago, Claire and I once suggested to a friend that worked on a radio music program for Irish classical music station Lyric FM that they should do a special around video game scores, but we were informed that no-one in the entire station had access to any, so it wasn't going to happen. 

Hopefully some day it will happen. Hopefully some day soon.

So, This Is Happening

Admittedly, we've all known it was going to happen since Lucas first tinkered with "improving" the originals back in the late 90's (Oh god... was it that long ago already?!?).

This reminds me of a scene from Father Ted.

Stop tapping it. It was done the day it hit the cinema screen for the first time. Leave it alone.

Movie Night: The Thomas Crown Affair

In honor of the astonishingly low tech theft of up to $1.27 million worth of paintings from the Paris Museum of Modern Art, we're showing the 1999 remake of The Thomas Crown Affair starring Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo. While Mr. Crown only steals Monets "San Giorgio Maggiore at dusk", the actual heist two weeks ago got away with five paintings by Picasso, Matisse, and Braque!

Movie Night Returns

Movie Night is back!! Iron Man and Batman team up in a story of sex, murder and mystery. Thursday, 20th May, from 7:30pm. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is one of my favourite movies. Join us if you're around and interested.

Bow To The Future

io9, one of the sci-fi heavy news feeds on my Google Reader feed, posted a wonderful chart on the evolution of Cyborgs in cinema and TV, created by Online Schools. As an extra cool feature, they provided the HTML code to embed the chart in your own site, so I have.



I'm a big fan of the small screen Terminator series, The Sarah Connor Chronicles. The main friendly Terminator in that show, Cameron, was very cool. Thanks to Summer Glaus training, the killer cyborg had a wonderful weight to her movements, while still looking like a young, agile female. Such a pity it got canned before things were wrapped up. John Henry was a joy to watch as well as the once evil, now under "rehabilitation" Terminator. Even the parts that really shouldn't have worked worked really, really well, like, for example, casting the lead singer from Garbage, Shirley Manson, as the sinister head of a major computer company clearly interested in the future development of Skynet.

Other than the Terminator franchise, there are lots of other cool cyborgs on the list, from the Borg, the Cybermen and the Cylons facing off against the heroic figures of Robocop, Steve Austin and Tony Stark.

With that kind of power on both sides, I wonder who'd win in a fight between the good cyborgs and the bad? On one hand, humanity is defended by Iron Man. On the other, we also have Inspector Gadget on our side.

We're doomed.

Of Childhood Dreams And Rocketmen

Christmas was a nice quiet time for me. Food, family and no internet all combined for a most excellent time. Christmas day was especially memorable as well lost electricity for a few hours, thankfully just as dinner was all cooked. So turkey and ham was enjoyed in candlelight, and the following few hours were spend chatting, relaxing, napping and generally having a lovely day, uninterrupted by TV or computer games.

Best yet, Christmas kinda lasted several weeks for me. Claire had informed me that my present wouldn't arrive until some time in January. But when it did... Oh boy!

This story all starts when I was 11 years old and Disney released a movie that would go on to influence much of who I am today. While not making me into a hero, daring adventurer or hood ornament, it did start my love of all things pulp and 1920's. The style, clothing and retro technology sung to my core, and it quickly became my favourite movie of my childhood. But as time passed, I discovered that it remained a favourite, and when I managed to get my hands on a copy of the DVD, I was delighted to find that the movie held up under repeated viewings.

The Rocketeer, based on a comic by the late, great Dave Stevens, is easily my favourite movie of all time. I can watch and rewatch it, and have. I happily watched it twice over two consecutive days on two separate occasions. I love all that action, adventure, heroism, effects and, of course, that costume. The helmet and rocket pack are iconic, stylish, clean and simple. But it's the jacket I love the most.

Ever since I was eleven years old, I have wanted that jacket. Ever since I was 27 years old, I've stared longingly at the UK website that makes a beautiful, high quality leather replica of the jacket. Stared. Dreamed. Wished. But ultimately, I never could really afford it. There was always something more important to spent my money on. Like food. And rent. And Claire.

But in early January, my wife arrived home from work and for the third time that week, the 17th time that month, the millionth time in a year, she proved yet again that she was the best, most beautiful, most amazing wife in the world. She handed me a big package and I opened it to find this:

I now have the coolest leather jacket in all of Cork city, possibly Ireland. Based on the fact that, as previously mentioned, Wested Leather is a UK based company, I don't think I can honestly claim "Coolest Jacket Owner in Ireland, the UK and Europe". Someone in the UK must also own this too. I'm not the only Rocketeer fan.

The first time I got to really show the jacket off to a lot of people was at WarpCon at the end of January. The response was phenomenal. I've never had so many people stop me and compliment me on what I was wearing. Everyone wanted to know where I had gotten it from, and I was only too happy to point them to the website. I even got to wear it to a steampunk LARP! I played the character of the captain of the city guard, and although it wasn't mentioned on my character sheet, I managed to get a Rocketeer Squadron added to my forces! Sweet. I 'd have to say that the jacket really helped me play the role, and went some way to getting me awarded the prize for that LARP! According to the people at the awards ceremony, when they announced I had won that, it got one of the biggest cheers of the evening. Unfortunately, I was getting food with friends, as I hadn't played to win anything, just to have fun and make sure others enjoyed the game as well. I must have done something right.

Since then, I've been wearing this jacket a lot around Cork. Any opportunity I can get, really. It's super comfy, warm, stylish, and gets a lot of approving looks. Any time anyone asks me were I got it, I tell them I have a very special, and understanding wife, and then point them to Wested.com.

Next I need the helmet to complete the hood ornament look! The jet pack will come some time later.

I Love It When A Plan Comes Together

In an age when it is far too common to see trailers for movies a full 12 months before release, I'm surprised this one has waited this long! I wish I had a better quality version to link to, but as of writing, there doesn't seem to be one online. Edit: Awesome! HD version available and embedded!

"You look like you've got a... real Bad Attitude."

Oh dear... This trailer shows up as I was just about to engrave Iron Man 2's name on the 2010 plate on "Denis' Favourite Movie Of The Year" perpetual trophy. I was so certain this was a no-brainer.

Now I have to wait until after June 11th to get it engraved.

The Gunpowder Treason and Plot

As with last years post*;

Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I know of no reason
Why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.

Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intent
To blow up King and Parliament.
Three-score barrels of powder below
To prove old England's overthrow;
By God's providence he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!

Instead of watching V For Vendetta this evening, we watched the pilot for the remake of 80's series V. It's been getting slammed online, which I think is a bit unfair. It's nothing special, but it's far from the worst thing I've had to watch in recent months. I think people were hoping for big changes that refreshed the old concept like BattleStar Galactica did, but instead the pilot is a reshoot of the original concept with a few very minor changes.

*- only 12 more years to go!

Nutshell Review: Up

Just back from Disney Pixars newest offering, Up. First impressions are good.

The music is fantastic, utilizing a lot of classical music to full and wonderful effect. The beats are well matched, though possibly the fact that I noticed them is actually a negative. Music should accompany the scene, never overpower it, but I just couldn't help notice how well certain pieces fit the action onscreen.

And the action is rendered in stunning clarity and detail. Once again, Pixar prove themselves masters of their chosen medium. Having seen Monsters Vrs Aliens earlier in the year, the difference in quality is astounding. Everything is lovingly crafted, from the principle characters holding your attention, to the tiny flowers, bugs and landscape details all over the scenery.

Which brings me to the characters themselves. Now, admittedly, they were clichéd and, highly ironically, very 2D in nature, but they were fun and enjoyable, and I liked them. The animals that appear were probably more fun than the few humans, but I certainly wasn't annoyed at any of the characters presented.

Finally, the big part of the movie, the 3D. It seems that this is becoming more and more prevalent in modern cinema. In just this year alone, I can think of three animated movies already released and one on the way presented in polarized 3D, the style that needs the lined glasses, rather than the red/green ones. Monsters Vrs Aliens was ok, but the 3D never seemed to be quite right. It was a fraction of a millimeter off the whole time, and both myself and Claire ended up with quite the headache afterwords. We didn't get to see Coraline, unfortunately, so I can't comment on that, and I have no interest in seeing A Christmas Carol, having been less than impressed by any trailers so far.

But Up was incredible! The 3D was, for me, stunning. It worked so well. There were just a handful of moments when it shifted a little off, but 90% of the time, I loved the effect. Bit's flying out at the screen, depth and distance between characters and backgrounds, and even effective multiple layering. It has to be said though that Claire disagrees with me. She found the 3D distracting and annoying again. She says it was better than Monsters Vrs Aliens, but still not great.

The one weakness is the story. It's rather basic, simple and clichéd, and feels unusually by-the-numbers for a Pixar production. Claire felt she could not only tell where the plot was going, but could almost predict the dialogue in some places. I think her situation wasn't helped by the fact hat she couldn't immerse herself in the movie because of the 3D, while I fell headlong into the screen and only resurfaced when the credits rolled.

Well worth seeing in my opinion, though not Pixars finest hour. Then again, they may never top the perfection of Wall-E, which all members of this household are delighted to point out was a movie released before 3D became the cool thing to do.