The Dark Knight Rises Is A Bad Movie

With Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice due out this week, and early reviews slamming it already, I feel it's time to post my thoughts on Batman's last appearance on the big screen. This was originally written as an email to a friend shortly after the movie originally came out. I've just cleaned it up a bit to post here.

When I first voiced my dislike of the third Christopher Nolan Batman movie, I annoyed some of my friends, who were so sure The Dark Knight Rises was a perfect movie walking out of the theatre. I remember review sites were getting threats from readers if they gave it a less-than-perfect rating. But it doesn't deserve a perfect rating. It doesn't even deserve a good one.

Firstly, I want to say that I did enjoy parts of the movie. I thought the cameo from Liam Neeson was well done, and I squeed loudly when Cillian Murphy appeared. I also enjoyed seeing the ridiculous Batpod doing it's spinning wheel sideways thing. But, there are massive problems with this movie. This is my list, and only my list. It's the things that I noticed personally. I've tried to avoid including things that I've read online since. This is about my issues.

1- It's a movie where we see Batman recover and return TWICE! The first time, he goes from being a cripple for 8 years to being A-okay in a matter of days, if not hours. A high-tech leg brace gives him back all his agility and strength. The second time he recovers from a broken back by having his spine PUNCHED back into line!?!? I would actually have given either one of the recoveries as part of the suspension of disbelief that movies, especially comic book movies, require, but the second made both stand out as stupid.

2- Even more than previous movies, the inconsistency of Batman's belief in not using guns was more evident. He uses guns and missiles on the Tumbler, Batpod and the Bat. While you can argue that they're only used on scenery, that gets thrown out the window at the end when he fires directly at the cab of Talia's truck. Batman has always been known for his gadgets over guns, but here "gadgets" just means bigger guns. Where's his super-epoxy truck sticking foam, or bat-EMP truck disabling beam, or just tire-destroying bat-caltrops?

3- While on the subject of missiles- I loved the magic missiles that Selina used on the Batpod to unblock the tunnel. A few shots into several tonnes of wrecked cars and a perfect V-shaped hole appears to be cut right through.

4- Those cops were down there in the tunnels for 3 months. Hundreds of them. Where did they shit? Where did they clean their uniforms? Where did they maintain their guns? How did the resistance get that much food down to them to keep them not only alive, but able to stay in shape?

5- How did one opening rescue them all? Were they all trapped conveniently together in one chamber? That's not how it looked when the bombs went off.

6- They were just below street level, as seen several times. Could they not have just dug down through a nearby building floor? I'd accept that just blowing the street open might be enough to let the trigger-man hit the button and detonate the bomb, but they weren't a million miles underground, and they had THREE MONTHS to rescue them! They could have done it in secret in a building!

7- What was with that 3 month time-limit anyway? The bomb was always going to go off. Everyone was always going to die. It made no sense. There was no redemption, no chance to become better, to take back the city. They were all just dead, they just didn't know it. Clearly, Talia failed to read the Evil Overlords Handbook.

8- Batman recovers from a broken spine in THREE MONTHS! Yes, I covered this earlier, but what if the bomb only had energy for 2.5 months. They'd all be fucked. It was a weak plot device. I mean, seriously, he gets back into Gotham with hours to spare, from where-ever he was abandoned in the world. And how did he afford to fly back to the US, not to mention get into the country WITHOUT A PASSPORT!

9- The bomb is referred to differently during the movie, the worst of all was when it is called a "Neutron bomb"... which doesn't even explode with the classical nuclear mushroom cloud devastation. It just emits a neutron burst, which wouldn't affect buildings!

10- Let's look at the bomb a bit more: It was originally a clean-energy fussion device until Bruce mothballed it because it could be used as a weapon, and he hates weapons. Except, as previously noted, on his vehicles. How did he get so far into the project that he spent billions of dollars without anyone pointing out that any form of fussion reaction could, potentially be used as a weapon? How is there only one person on the planet capable of deactivating the bomb? He must have been involved with the fussion reactors creation, but did he work entirely alone, with no team, no colleagues, no documented paperwork?!?

11- Wayne Industries is broke because Bruce has gone underground. What kind of company literally cannot function without one man? If that's the case, Apple would have been fucked without Steve (it might still be, to be honest)! What was that board of directors doing for the last 8 years? What of all the other parts of the company? Were they all shut down to finance the mothballed fussion reactor?

12- Joseph Gordon Levitt was the best thing in that movie. He spoke clearly, unlike almost everyone else, had valid character motivations, and stuck to his convictions throughout, but he was woefully underused. Bruce should have stayed broken, he should have been The Batman in the finale.

13- How could the police not find Bane's construction underground. Yes, there are miles of tunnels under there, but don't start at random man-holes around the city. Start at the fucking water tunnel where all the bodies keep appearing and follow the water back along. It's not that hard, dumb-asses.

14- Why is there a rope sitting at the top of The Pit when Bruce gets out? Does no-one in there have families, friends, evil organisation co-workers, or anyone willing to just walk out there and throw the rope down to rescue them? There are NO GUARDS! EVER! Just walk out of that enormous city we see, throw down the rope that is right there and walk away. And why does Bruce throw it down? Are they all just political prisoners, white-collar criminals that won't get out and return to a life of raping, murdering and pillaging? Or does he just trust that their time in The Pit has reformed them all into good citizens?

15- "Welcome back Mister Wayne. Sure hope you remembered where you parked the Bat because I don't have access to any others that I plan to sell to the military at the end of all this after you're dead." "Yup. On a rooftop that no-one in the last three months has gone up to. No one. Not one single per- FUCK! IT'S GONE! Also: What?"

16- "The bomb is ticking down it's last minutes. Let's all stop to listen to Talia's dieing ranting. Man, I hope those injuries are enough to kill her in the next 30 seconds, or we're all dead."

17- "Only 1 minute 57 seconds left on the bomb. I'll just stop to give everyone a pep-talk, kiss this cat burglar who everyone has avoided calling Catwoman for the last three hours and reveal to Gordon who I really am under the mask, by making a reference to an event decades ago that he only ever could have done once, because I'm the only person that Gordon has probably ever comforted in his entire career in the service."

18- "Aw. Batman died saving everybody. Well, better get back to selling these high-tech batwings to the military. You two random techies, fix the auto-pilot in this thing that looks kind of like the thing Batman used to fly, but it's not, because this one is in military camo and his was black. Also, I totally don't work for Batman. What's that you say? The auto pilot is fixed? By Bruce Wayne? Three months ago? Why the fuck would Bruce fix the auto-pilot in the model he's not even using? And when did Bruce learn to program complex auto-pilot routines for experimental helicopter designs? And when or how did he test this? And OH MY GOD HE'S ALIVE!" Dun-dun-duuuuuunnnnn.

19- "Nice of Master Bruce to give the house to the orphans. Sure hope none of them mess around with that piano."

20- "Wow! All this cool shit. Look at that. I get to be the new Batman! Woo-hoo! Now, how do I afford to repair any of this when it gets damaged, or even fuel the Tumbler. In fact, how do I adjust any of these suits to fit my clearly very different stature. Fuckit. I'll just go home."

21- The movie was far too long. I felt the set-up scenes were poorly played, and I actually got confused because I lost focus on what was happening. I thought it was Selina that Bruce sleeps with in the mansion during the rain-storm and the power-outage. That was the plot-point I missed entirely for the end of the movie when Batman seems so focused on saving what-ever her name is that turns out to be Talia. I kept thinking "Why does he seem to give such a shit about this board-member? Why is she important?"

22- This final one is something that I disliked, but others didn't seem to mind: There was no fan-service, nothing only for the comic readers. Like in Avengers, we had the Thanos reveal, or in Thor, we had the artifacts in Odin's museum and the Cosmic Cube in the after-credits scene. Even as far back as Iron Man, we had the Nick Fury reveal. Stuff that left the long-time fans whooping and cheering, but left the casual fan that just turned up for the movie intrigued about what they just saw, but not feeling lost or missing a key plot-point. The little extras to reward the nerds. Batman never had that. Everything was clearly explained. There was nothing only for the comic reader. And there was opportunity! Right at the end: "Something for John Blake?... Oh, maybe my full name: Robin." As subtle as a brick, and unconnected to the comics in every way apart from the use of those 5 letters in that order. Why not "Something for John Blake?... Oh, maybe my birth name, Tim Drake?" There. Better! The fans get the "Woot!" moment, the rest get, "Oh, he's someone he didn't appear to be, but it's not as important as learning he's becoming the new Batman."

That's it. That's my teardown of The Dark Knight Rises. Don't expect one on Batman V Superman anytime soon. I do not plan on seeing it.

You shouldn't either.

A Poorly Baked Soufflé Of Darkness

Caveat: This breakdown of my issues with Batman: The Dark Knight Rises is going to be jam packed with spoilers, from opening scenes to closing action. If you haven't seen TDKR and plan on, maybe you should stop reading now. At time of writing, it is about to be released on DVD and BluRay, or, if you live in the 21st Century like most people do, direct digital download.

Firstly, I did enjoy parts of the movie, and in the past I have stated that I might "still recommend people go see it", but not now. I've rested on this issue for a few months, and my final opinion is that it is just as bad movie, and not worth your money. I did love the cameos from Liam Neeson and Cillian Murphy, and squeed loudly when Cillian appeared (I did warn you there would be spoilers). I also enjoyed seeing the ridiculous Batpod doing it's spinning wheel sideways thing. But, Avengers was far more enjoyable and true to the comic-book movie ideal.

There are massive problems with this movie. This is my list, and only my list. It's the things that I noticed personally. I've tried to avoid including things that I've read online. This is about my issues.

Finally, before we begin proper, the following numbered list uses an excessive amount of text in full capitalization. This is because there are just some moments that are too stupid not to shout about.

1- TDKR is a movie where we see Batman recover and return TWICE! The first time, he goes from being a cripple for eight years to being A-okay in a matter of days, if not hours. A high-tech leg brace gives him back all his agility and strength. The second time he recovers from a broken back by having his spine PUNCHED back into line?!?!? I would actually have given either one of the recoveries as part of the suspension of disbelief that movies, especially comic book movies, require, but the second made both stand out as stupid.

2- Even more than previous movies, the inconsistency of Batman's belief in not using guns was more evident. He uses guns and missiles on the Tumbler, Batpod and the Bat. While you can argue that they're only used on scenery, that gets thrown out the window at the end when he fires directly at the cab of Talia's (Er... Spoiler?) truck. Batman has always been known for his gadgets over guns, but here "gadgets" just means bigger guns. Where's his super-epoxy truck sticking foam, or bat-EMP truck disabling beam, or just tire-destroying bat-caltrops?

3- While on the subject of missiles- I loved the magic missiles that Selina used on the Batpod to unblock the tunnel. A few shots into several tonnes of wrecked cars and a perfect V-shaped hole appears to be cut right through.

4- Those cops were down there in the tunnels for five months. Hundreds of them. Where did they shit? Where did they clean their uniforms? Where did they maintain their guns? How did the resistance get that much food down to them to keep them not only alive, but able to stay in shape?

5- How did one opening rescue them all? Were they all trapped conveniently together in one chamber? That's not how it looked when the bombs went off.

6- They were just below street level, as seen several times. Could they not have just dug down through a nearby building floor? I'd accept that just blowing the street open might be enough to let the trigger-man hit the button and detonate the bomb, but they weren't a million miles underground, and they had FIVE MONTHS to rescue them! They could have done it in secret in a building!

7- What was with that 5 month time-limit anyway? The bomb was always going to go off. Everyone was always going to die. It made no sense. There was no redemption, no chance to become better, to take back the city. They were all dead, they just didn't know it. Clearly, Talia failed to read the Evil Overlords Handbook.

8- Batman recovers from a broken spine in FIVE MONTHS! Yes, I covered this earlier, but what if the bomb only had energy for 2.5 months. They'd all be fucked. It was a weak plot device. I mean, seriously, he gets back into Gotham with hours to spare, from where-ever he was abandoned in the world. And how did he afford to fly back to the US, not to mention get into the country WITHOUT A PASSPORT!

9- The bomb is referred to differently during the movie, the worst of all was when it is called a "Neutron bomb"... which doesn't even explode with the classical nuclear mushroom cloud devastation. It just emits a neutron bust, which wouldn't affect buildings!

10- Let's look at that bomb a bit more: It was originally a clean-energy fusion device until Bruce mothballed it because it could be used as a weapon, and he hates weapons. Except, as previously noted, on his vehicles. How did he get so far into the project that he spent billions of dollars without anyone pointing out that any form of fusion reaction could, potentially be used as a weapon? How is there only one person on the planet capable of deactivating the bomb? He must have been involved with the fusion reactors creation, but did he work entirely alone, with no team, no colleagues, no documented paperwork?!?

11- Wayne Industries is broke because Bruce has gone underground. What kind of company literally cannot function without one man? If that's the case, Apple is fucked without Steve! What was that board of directors doing for the last eight years? What of all the other parts of the company? Were they all shut down to finance the mothballed fusion reactor?

12- Joseph Gordon Levitt was the best thing in that movie. He spoke clearly, unlike almost everyone else, had valid character motivations, and stuck to his convictions throughout, but he was woefully underused. Bruce should have stayed broken, he should have been The Batman in the finale.

13- How could the police not find Banes construction underground. Yes, there are miles of tunnels under there, but don't start at random man-holes around the city. Start at the fucking water tunnel where all the bodies keep appearing and follow the water back along. It's not that hard, dumb-asses.

14- Why is there a rope sitting at the top of The Pit when Bruce gets out? Does no-one in there have families, friends, evil organisation co-workers, or anyone willing to just walk out there and throw the rope down to rescue them? There are NO GUARDS! EVER! Just walk out of that enormous city we see, throw down the rope that is right there and walk away. And why does Bruce throw it down? Are they all just political prisoners, white-collar criminals that won't get out and return to a life of raping, murdering and pillaging? Or does he just trust that their time in the Pit has reformed them all into good citizens?

15- "Welcome back Mister Wayne. Sure hope you remembered where you parked the Bat because I don't have access to any others that I plan to sell to the military at the end of all this after you're dead." "Yup. On a rooftop that no-one in the last five months has gone up to. No one. Not one single per- FUCK! IT'S GONE! Also: What?"

16- "The bomb is ticking down it's last minutes. Let's all stop to listen to Talia's dieing ranting. Man, I hope those injuries are enough to kill her in the next 30 seconds, or we're all dead."

17- "Only 1 minute 57 seconds left on the bomb. I'll just stop to give everyone a pep-talk, kiss this cat burglar who everyone has avoided calling Catwoman for the last three hours and reveal to Gordon who I really am under the mask, by making a reference to an event decades ago that he only ever could have done once, because I'm the only person the Gordon has probably ever comforted in his entire career in the service."

18- "Aw. Batman died saving everybody. Well, better get back to selling these high-tech batwings to the military. You two random techies, fix the auto-pilot in this thing that looks kind of like the thing Batman used to fly, but it's not, because this one is in military camo and his was black. Also, I totally don't work for Batman. What's that you say? The auto pilot is fixed? By Bruce Wayne? Five months ago? Why the fuck would Bruce fix the auto pilot in the model he's not even using? And when did Bruce learn to program complex auto-pilot routines for experimental helicopter designs? And when or how did he test this? And OH MY GOD HE'S ALIVE! Dun-dun-duuuuuunnnnn. What? Why, yes, yes I did just say dun-dun-dun."

19- "Nice of Master Bruce to give the house to the orphans. Sure hope none of them mess around with that piano."

20- "Wow! All this cool shit. Look at that. I get to be the new Batman! Woo-hoo! Now how do I afford to repair any of this when it gets damaged, or even fuel the Tumbler. In fact, how do I adjust any of these suits to fit my clearly very different stature. Fuckit. I'll just go home."

21- The movie was far too long. I felt the set-up scenes were poorly played, and I actually got confused because I lost focus on what was happening. I thought it was Selina that Bruce sleeps with in the mansion during the rain-storm and the power-outage. That resulted in me missing a plot point entirely for the end of the movie when Batman seems so focused on saving what-ever her name is that turns out to be Talia. I kept thinking "Why does he seem to give such a shit about this board-member? Why is she important?"

22- This final one is something that I disliked, but others didn't seem to mind: There was no fan-service, nothing only for the comic readers. Like in Avengers, we had the Thanos reveal, or in Thor, we had the artifacts in Odins museum and the Cosmic Cube in the after-credits scene. Even as far back as Iron Man, we had the Nick Fury reveal. Stuff that left the long-time fans whooping and cheering, but left the casual fan that just turned up for the movie intrigued about what they just saw, but not feeling lost or missing a key plot-point. The little extras to reward the nerds. Batman never had that. Everything was clearly explained. There was nothing only for the comic reader. And there was opportunity! Right at the end: "Something for John Blake?... Oh, maybe my full name: Robin." As subtle as a brick, and unconnected to the comics in every way apart from the use of those 5 letters in that order. Why not "Something for John Blake?... Oh, maybe my birth name, Tim Drake?" There. Better! The fans get the "Woot!" moment, the rest get, "Oh, he's someone he didn't appear to be, but it's not as important as learning he's becoming the new Batman."

And that's it. Honestly there were more than 22 points during an earlier draft of this post, but an epic fuck-up on my part caused me to delete the entire post, so this is the striped down version. Some dropped paragraphs included choice moments like: why did Gordon keep that revealing speech in his pocket for so long, how does it go from bright day to dark night in the time it takes to drive through a tunnel, why does Batman waste what little time he has on his return to paint a giant bat-symbol in petrol on the bridge? There are detailed breakdowns of the movie by hundreds of people online, and many have some great points that further support my belief that The Dark Knight Rises is simply a bad movie, but this post is my story. It is about the things that jumped out at me and stopped me in my tracks while sitting inside the theater, watching the movie itself.

The Dark Knight Rises is a terribly constructed, poorly written piece of cinema that does nothing good for the career of the person who directed Memento, Inception and The Prestige. Ignore this tragedy and track down a copy of Batman: Mask of the Phantasm instead.

Permission To Proceed

It's been a while since The Dark Knight Rises hit theatres everywhere. Even on the first weekend I had started to see people complaining about the movie online, and while I had my fair share of issues with it, I felt it was unfair to potentially spoil the movie for anyone at the early stage.

However, I did write a long email about the many problems I had with the movie and I do want  to clean that up somewhat and to post it here. So I'm asking now: Do any of my readers who have yet to catch TDKR still plan on seeing the third act of the trilogy, or has everyone seen it already? Can I go ahead and post my grievances here, or would you prefer I waited until after the DVD release?

Speak up now, or forever hold your peace.

I'll leave this sit until this coming weekend, and make my decision then.

Review: The Dark Knight Rises

Gonna keep this one very, very spoiler-free, so instead of going into detail about what I did or didn't like about the story or elements, I'll just compare it in broad strokes to the two other summer comic-book movies I watched, The Avengers and The Amazing Spider-Man.

The Dark Knight Rises rounds out the summer comic-book movie blockbuster season, and, if reports are to be believed, the Christopher Nolan/ Christian Bale collaboration on the franchise. And it's a fine swan-song. Enjoyable, but not the pinnacle of comic-book movies that some people seem to be claiming. There are huge, tumbler-sized plot holes throughout, some missed opportunities, and it could stand to be trimmed by 30 to 45 minutes.

While Banes voice has vastly improved from when I saw the opening six minutes at the start of Mission Impossible 4 in IMAX, there are still some terribly mumbled scenes, and I missed several lines of dialogue. Worse, I even found it difficult to catch what Gordon was saying in one particular scene, and got two characters completely confused, which led to me not understanding a key plot towards the end of the movie. Full disclosure: No one else made the same mistake, so it my have just been me getting bored at that point in the film.

The Avengers still stands as the best the summer offered. It was the perfect blend of action, character moments and well paced, super-powered fights.

If I'm, being honest, TDKR is probably a better movie than The Amazing Spider-Man for most people, but as a big fan of the friendly neighborhood wall-crawler, my bias has to be taken into account when I say that I had a better time watching Spidey than Batman.

I deconstructed the movie with some friends after, and the general agreement was that it was better than I thought. Take from this what you want.

In summary, it's far from a bad movie (I'm looking at you, Prometheus), but it's nowhere near a great movie either. I feel it will do well in the box-office figures, but given time, people will sour to it as the problems it has sink in or become more obvious with repeated viewings.

From Begins To Rises

With the third Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises, due out tomorrow, I thought I'd post a quick recap for anyone who has forgotten the story up to now, or readers who plan on jumping in at this point without seeing the previous two[1].

Everything you need to know about the most recent movie version of Batman.

Steve Wayne is this dude who crashed to earth as a child and was raised by Amazonians before his uncle was killed in front of him down a dark alley. Wallowing in self pity, he was driving along a lonely road when an alien crashed, bestowing a powerful ring to him, powered by vengeance. Using the ring to form a hammer that can call down lightning, he hunted down this immortal dude from Star Wars, before battling the Clown Prince of Crime, Deadpool, and destroying most of the city he calls home, causing millions and millions of rupees in damages.

Somewhere along the way he successfully funneled billions of his own company's money, spending them on ridiculous inventions and experimental technologies for his own private, personal use.

Apart from that, all you need to know if that the police and, inexplicably, the citizens who have to put up with his wanton rampages and the resulting increase in taxes to cover city-wide repairs, allow him to continue operating. He's the hero the city needs, not the one it wants. Remember, he doesn't have to kill people, he just doesn't have to save them... which makes about as much sense as a cock flavored popsicle. While we're on the subject of nonsense, Batman never uses guns, unless they're on his car, the Quinjet, at which point it's okay to use only high caliber machine guns capable of shredding a person in half, but rockets as well. Also, he drives over people in their cars too while in his 2.5 tonne personal tank.

There's a reason the city doesn't want him.

You're welcome.

[1] - This was written for a friend who plans on doing the latter, so I hope I covered all the important points. In case I missed any, feel free to leave them in the comments.

Story Time, Kiddies

Ultimate Batman:
Issue 1 (Almost entirly without speech)
Pg 1- 6 letter box panels:
Panel 1- close up on Batmans eyes- just white lens- looking angry
Panel 2- close up on Bruce Waynes eyes, looking anxious
Panel 3- close up of Batmans hand holding a batarang sideways, mirroring...
Panel 4 - close up of Bruces hand, turned looking at his watch. The hands read 9:15
Panel 5 - close up of Batmans belt, retrieving a gadget from his belt
Panel 6 - close up of Bruces hand reaching for a glass of champaign.

Page 2 -Full page splash.
Batman holding a thug around the body from behind. One hand over the mouth, the other coming up underneath the thugs armpit and then around the back of the head. The thug is obviously shocked.

Page 3- Full page splash.
Bruce holding a very beautiful girl around the waist from behind. Both are dressed for a party and many others are in the background, enjoying the time. Bruce is young, 18 years old. He is dressed casual, shirt open, tie undone, resting around his neck. The girl is enjoying the embrace, and has her head inclined up and around looking for a kiss. Bruce is looking down her body at his watch. It reads 10:22.

The following pages jump from Batman on a night out, stopping evil, to Bruce at his 18th birthday. He's very distracted, evidently waiting for something, or some time. Some panels show him looking at his watch, others at the antique Grandfather clock against one wall. Every such panel shows time slipping by.

As the issue moves on Batmans fight with the thugs is set against Bruce's time at the party. The action in both sections should mirror each other to an extent, the darkness of the alley versus the bright party; the violent fight versus the gentle dance; the the flash of gunfire versus the flash of cameras.

Batman returns to the Batmobile. He has blood smeared across his lips, and wipes it off occasionally. It returns. The Batmobile is parked down another of Gothams many dark alleys. Batman stops for a moment, one foot inside the Batmobile as a number of GCPD police cars scream by the alley, lights flashing.

Bruces section has the party begin to wrap-up and the guests are hurried out. Some look annoyed at having the party stopped so early. Clocks in the background read 1:47. Bruces girl (Viki Vale) is very annoyed at not being let stay, but Alfred calmly forces her into the limo. Bruce stands in the doorway at the top of the steps, one foot inside the hall, as the last of the guests cars leave down the mansions drive.

The Batmobile is screaming along the roads. Bruce races through the mansion to the library. Batman activates a switch on a dashboard covered in little lights and switches. "Entrance Clear" flashes up on a screen. Bruce activates a hidden switch behind the Grandfather clock which now reads 1:53. The bookcase beside it slides open, revealing a rough staircase downwards. The Batmobile races through a hidden opening in a cliff face and along a narrow driveway inside. Bruce races down the stairs, Alfred following close behind.

Pulling off his shirt Bruce opens a locker. Inside are a number of Bat-Suits. He reaches for the first one. Bruce steps forward in full Batsuit, with just the mask in hand. He runs up to the Batmobile and runs his fingers along the paintwork. It's immaculate. As he turns around,

The Batmobile drives up and parks in a space beside the other one. Bruce leaps over the bonnets, landing with a slight acrobatic flair at the drivers-side door. It opens and Batman steps out, blood-marks colgealed on his lips.

Last panel on second last page:
Bruce: Alright, old man. I've kept my end of the bargain. Now you keep yours.
Batman is reaching to remove his mask in the same panel.

Last Page- Full page splash.
Bruce Wayne is standing on the left side of the page, a huge smile beaming across his face. A much older man is standing looking at him one the right side of the page. He looks every bit as tired and old as Bruce looks energetic and young. Think Dark Knight Returns Batman standing next to Batman from the current The Batman Warner Bros cartoon, only the older man isn't as crazily large as DKR Batman was. Both are looking each other in the eyes. In the background, between them on the page, and looking worried, stands Alfred. Behind him, above a wall of computer monitors a huge clock reads 2:00.

***

That's my opening shot. The premise is that Batman has been around for years before Bruce is old enough to do the job. The whole time, he's been played by Bruce's friend from after his parents were killed, Gotham City Police Department Officer James Gordon. Bruce has been using his family millions to finance the gadgets and tech, all on the condition that once he turns 18, Jim has to hand over the mantle of the Bat. He's spent all his life training for this time.

Batman is still an urban legend. Gordon is good at what he does, and uses his police connections and access to make some evidence dissappear that could support the rumours of this vigilante, while twisting other evidence to "prove" that these events have been the result of numerous individuals, empowered by the concept of this Batman figure, but ultimately working alone, and often only once.

Early issues have Bruce screw up a few times. Some villians immediately spot the difference, and he gets himself into the kind of trouble he has to use his brains to escape from. At least once he should loose the criminal entirely, but some quick detective work gets him back on the trail. This should be the focus. Bruce becomes the Dark Detective relying on brains as much as brawn, while Gordon was always just the Dark Knight, relying on his fists.

Well. That's it for the start. Hope you guys like it. That's actually an idea I've been playing with for over a year now, with help from my best buddy Noel. If I had any artistic skills I'd try actually drawing it out, but I don't, so... you know...