No Spoilers!

Back in my day, we had TV ad breaks and pre-show cinema trailers, and we liked it!

Actually, we hated it. I recall trying to download tiny pixelated 480P trailers on the college computers at UCC just so I could watch Spider-Man web a helicopter full of bank thieves between two iconic buildings in New York. 

There was a time, however brief, when people would pay to see a mediocre movie just to watch a new trailer for a major upcoming release, such as The Matrix or Lord of the Rings. 

Today’s standard deluge of endless previews and promos and extended scenes and “first five minutes” were unheard of. You got a few trailers in the months running up to release, all made up of broadly the same footage, with maybe one or two unique shots to justify it’s existence. 

If feels like these days you can piece together 75% of a movie from the promotional material. In fact, the inspiration for this post was a clip from the soon to launch Hawkeye series for Disney+ that I watched just before starting to write this. I didn’t mind because the clip was short and while I’m looking forward to the series, I’m not super worried about light spoilers. It’s not like an official promo piece was going to spoil the ending or anything before the series even airs, unlike all those “What the Last 3 Minutes of the Big New Movie That Only Came Out Today Means” that are all over YouTube for every major release. 

On the other hand, I am already 100% sold on the upcoming Spider-Man Marvel Universe movie, No Way Home. If I don’t see a single frame, set photo, news article, rumour or trailer before I see the movie in theatres this December, I’ll be delighted! I have a bunch of keywords muted on Twitter in the hopes that they won’t show up on my feed. 

However, last Tuesday a new trailer dropped, with loads of new footage and new big plot reveals. I had long before decided that nothing would get me to watch it, but as soon as it was online, YouTube helpfully pushed it into my suggested feed. Not an issue, I can just not click on it. But there was a new character reveal right there in the thumbnail. Worse, while I had gathered enough rumours in the months previously that I expected this particular character to appear, I now had their new look spoiled on me. 

I miss going in to movies blind, being totally shocked by every twist and turn of the plot, every reveal and cameo. It feels like the only way to achieve that today is to swear off the internet in the months before the release. And as much as I love you, Spider-Man, I love the internet more.