Sunday, July 02, 2006

Do Not Ignore Me

I realise people can have serious problems brought on by clinical conditions that require professional treatment. I realise that such people can suffer from moments, either brief or extended that cause them to act in ways that they may not ordinarily act. I realise that sometimes it's best to stay quiet and away in order to not hurt your friends, either intentionally or otherwise. And I realise that I am not qualified to speak about how someone like that can think or feel, esecially as I personally have never been in that position.

However. I want to say this. I am a friend. I'd like to think that people have a level of understanding, even at the lowest point, that makes them realise that there are others out there that are worried for them, thinking of them and willing to listen if that will help. I am a friend. I would like to think that someone in a situation where they are very upset or depressed would not simply ignore everyone that attempts to get in contact with them just to make others worried, or see how long people will continue to call without getting an answer.

But I will not fucking be ignored. You will not ruin my time. And as such, this is my manifesto to all my friends. In a way, it begins right now. But mostly, it begins when I actually start college.

This year I go back to college to complete my final year. I will not screw this one up. And I will not let anyone else screw me up. If you are pissed off at something or someone, do not come to me. I don't care. If you want to whinge and whine about how much life/jobs/friends/college/whatever is sucking, do not come to me. I will not listen. I you believe yourself to be the centre of the universe, do not come near me. I will put you in your tiny, insignificant place.

If, however, someone has hurt you, I will be there. You are my friend. I will offer you an ear and a shoulder, as required. If you are bored, you can text me. I'll either text back and entertain you, or invite you over if I am free. I am your friend. If you just want to chat about what was on TV this week, what's in the cinema, the latest web-comics, whatever, text me. If I'm not working hard on college stuff, I'd love to have you anchor me to something resembling a social life. You are special and I don't want to loose that. If you haven't heard from me in a while and are worried enough to want to know that I'm alright, call me. Even with all that work, I'll appreciate knowing someone's still thinking of me. I need friends too. If someone you love passes away, please, please call me. I have been there. More times in the past year than I'd like, but I survived, and I'll be there to help you survive too. We all need shoulders to cry on. If you hear I am having a hard time, call me. I might need a shoulder to cry on too.

I am fed up of hearing people who have a perfectly fine life bitch and moan about how bad it is. I am sick of seeing people who I know have a life far better than millions of others on this planet become so self-centered that they think everyone else has a better life than them. Life is not made up of things like jobs or possessions. Life isn't even about relationships. Life is friends. It is living to see them each day. It is knowing that, even when everything else seems to be going wrong, there is someone that doesn't care about that. That likes you for just you. As a friend. As someone that you bring joy into their life.

I am not stupid. I realise I am writing this as someone who is in a relationship. But even that is built on friendship. I have a job that sucks. But I have friends that don't. I have to go back to college to work very hard at my final year. But I have friends that will be there for me. I won't have enough free cash to buy any Marvel Legends that come out between this September and May of next year. But I have friends that will comfort me when the only figure of Blink sells out in Smyths and I couldn't get her. I have friends. I love them and cherish them. They are my life.

I am not so forgetful. I know I have not always lived up to what I am declaring here. I know I have had days where all I wanted to do was complain, or days where I locked myself away to escape the world. I know that some days I get home and I am moody and quiet and nothing can go right for me. But it never lasts. I can not hold grudges. I can not stay angry at friends, regardless of circumstance. I always know that my friends will cheer me up. Even when I feel I want to stay angry longer, I know it's a lost cause. I have friends that will not let me.

There it is. You can either be my friend and stay the fuck away from me, or you can just be my friend. At the end of the day, the choice is yours to make. But trust me, if you make the wrong one, if you start making my life more difficult that I need next year, I will tell you in no uncertain terms what I think of your attitude.

And I will not be ignored. If you want to leave a comment, feel free. If you want to speak to me in person about this, feel free. I agree with everything I have written. I started in anger, but actually typing this has given me more time to think about what I'm saying, and it is how I feel. Right now, all I have to say to close this matter is a little bunny saying

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