Meet Ada Maria Ryan

On March 23rd, 2015 at 14:35 Pacific Standard Time Claire and I were delighted to meet our baby daughter for the first time, Ada Maria Ryan. She was tiny and beautiful and perfect and purple. Oh so very purple.

But let's rewind a bit first.

In July of 2014, after trying to get pregnant for almost two years, Claire announced to me that she was pregnant. Thus began weeks of nervous anticipation and worry that it might all be taken away, as nature sometimes does. But it was to be, and we told some of our family and friends the good news with our 12 week ultrasound, and everyone once we had our 20 week ultrasound.

Christmas came and went and Claire still wasn't even really showing. She started to have a noticable bump in early February, and gave up work at the start of March.

We had decided to use a midwife right away, and our dream was to have a water birth at home in our own apartment. All was going well until early March when we confirmed that our little Spawnling was in the breech position, head up instead of down.

We had a few options, namely a risky vaginal breech birth, a far less risky elective c-section, or, an attempt at turning the Spawnling in utero, through a process called External Celphalic Version, or ECV. Frankly, the thought of a c-section terrified us both, and there are very few doctors trained to do a vaginal breach birth thanks to a now discredited report from eleven years ago that adviced against it.

The attempt to turn the Spawnling with ECV failed, after five attempts over two sessions on the same morning, leaving Claire sore and upset. After discussing our remaining options together and with our midwife and doctor, Claire chose to go ahead with a c-section, and all I could do was be there to give her my full support.

That was not an easy choice to make for Claire. She is phobic of needles, or more specifically, injections, a condition called trypanophobia. One of the neccessities of pregnancy in the first world is a regular requirement to have blood taken, and be generally poked and prodded throughout the nine months. She was much more capable of facing a bloodtest by early March than the first time back before Christmas, but the thought of having an IV and an epidural was terrifying.

With an elective c-section, you're given a time and a date to be at the hospital, as well as a consultation a few days before. There is no stress, no hours and hours of labour, no rushing about like a headless chicken, panicing about what is or might happen. It actually felt a bit weird, and the night before was like the worst Christmas Eve ever! If you think waiting for Santa is exciting, try waiting for the best, most unique gift imaginable!

We woke up before 7am Monday morning so that Claire could have breakfast, as her major abdominal surgery required her to fast from 7am onwords. We took the bus into downtown and headed to the hospital a little ahead of time, arriving at Surgical Daycare just before 1pm.

Claire was brought into surgery at 2pm, an hour ahead of schedule, and while the staff got her set up, I was told to wait outside in the hall. At 2:25 I was called in and found Claire surrounded by hospital staff with a sheet dividing her head and shoulders from the rest of her body. I sat beside her and talked to her, just trying to keep her calm and focused on me.

At about 2:30, our obstetrician, the wonderful and hilarious Doctor Anderson, told me to stand up. When I did, I looked over the dividing sheet to find myself looking at Doctor Anderson holding a tiny bottom and two legs up. Only a tiny bottom and two legs. The rest of Spawnling, from chest up, was still securely inside Claire. Doctor Anderson twisted the legs a bit and we had the following conversation:

Doctor Anderson: Do you want to call it, Denis?

Me: Er... I think it's a girl.

Entire room laughs.

I sat back down and tried to hug Claire.

"It's Ada, Claire. It's our daughter, Ada."

A few minutes more, with another bit of pulling and pushing, and a purple, gooey Ada was brought around the curtain for Claire to see for the first time. She was taken to a table to be cleaned, and as I hugged Claire we heard her cry for the first time. I was called over to see her, and despite less than a minute old, apart from her hands and feet, she was a healthy shade of pink already. As soon as I stood near, I said "Hello Ada", and she just stopped crying, turning her head toward me. While her umbilical cord was cut to allow her to be moved to the table, it was left long to allow me to cut it to size.

Once she was cleaned up, she was brought back for Claire to hold. After a few minutes of just being close, Claire and I did what we had talked about before her birth: We started talking to Ada in Irish, welcoming her into the world in our native tongue. Ada, for her part, just lay on Claire's neck and breathed.

Out of the OR and back to a Recovery Room for a few hours where mommy, daddy and Ada could bond. After that we were brought to the room we would spend the next three days in. We got to meet the most extraordinarily wonderful nurses, get help with Ada's low blood sugar and high bilirubin levels, and relax in peace, while Claire recovered from her surgery.

On Thursday, March 26th, we were dismissed from the hospital, and came home to be a family at our own pace. Since then, we have learned so much about our little Spawnling. She refuses to sleep on her back, laughs at jokes we can't hear, loves having her diaper changed and dislikes baths. We can't stop looking at her, and I can't stop photographing her, in case I miss anything. New parents, eh? Yeesh!!

We still talk to her in Irish when we can, she sleeps at night lying on each of our chests in turn, and while Claire tries to breastfeed as much as possible, she eats more than Claire can give, so we supplement with formula, allowing me to do night feeds, leaving Claire to get some sleep. Because of that, and regular naps during the day, we've both been getting a lot of sleep and feeling great.

We've taken walks up to Safeway, just two blocks away, and longer walks around downtown. We've visited the park on a sunny day and relaxed on a bench. We've met friends for lunch in a restaurant and been able to eat without too much trouble.

Ada has become a wonderful addition to our family. We are lucky to have her, and hope that we'll prove to be great parents over the coming years and decades.

Related:
It Was All A Dream
Ada on Flickr

It Was All A Dream

I am utterly convinced I wrote a New Year's post for this blog, reviewing the first post from 2014 and looking at how I did during the year. Unfortunately, I can't find that anywhere, which is a bit annoying, as it was a long enough post, and I don't feel like trying to rewrite it.

Was it a dream? Was it something I wrote, but forgot to save? Did someone in the Official Internet Content Supervisation and Authorisation Offices decide it wasn't written well enough?

Whatever happened, it's gone, making this sham of a post my first post of 2015. Whelp! Let's get on with it.

2014 was awesome for us! We went on a very cool holiday in Whistler mere days after discovering Claire was pregnant, so it made the whole thing much more special! We got our Permanent Residence status in July, and we've both been working, playing and creating throughout the year!

Claire took up sword fighting this year as her new passion. She's gotten herself some armour and a big freaking sword! She's gotten super fit, and can do crazy things like handstands at seven months pregnant! She recently did an archery class, and has a new focus for her love of medieval weaponry. I, meanwhile, still go swimming, and recently have been putting in 75 - 100 lengths a week, sometimes hitting 40 lengths, or a kilometer, in a single session. My personal record in a single session in 2014 was 52 lengths! I almost died.

2015 is going to be the start of a whole new era for us. Our Spawnling is due some time in March, so we're super excited for that! Everything has been great so far. Claire didn't have any morning sickness in the early stages, and was still sword fighting up to January. She only really started to show in late January, and now has a wonderful baby bump, one that shifts, moves and kicks outward all the time, waking her, or generally annoying her at work.

I'm still drawing and working on a cool personal project at the moment. I've been collecting a set of impressive markers for my art, and they've been a huge encouragement to draw more, not only because I spent the money on them, but also because they make my art so very cool! I'll be drawing more in 2015, and posting as much as I can. Claire has also been creating, having gotten a sowing machine just before Christmas. She made blankets and bibs for the Spawnling, and has plans for more.

The coming year, or the eleven months that are left in it (Sorry) are going to be awesome, exhausting, terrifying and awesome. I'll try to post more often!

 

Making Babies Is Easy, Except When It Isn't

Yesterday I announced on this blog about our impending end to free time and peace of mind. It was full of joy and happiness.

But as so many people will tell you, that's not always how it goes.

What some of you might not know is that Claire and I have been trying for this for about two years, and during that time we've had some painful close encounters. At least twice, we think we lost an embroy at around the five or six week mark, and every month that went by without even the hint of a successful fertilisation was another month of hope crushed.

When I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in October of 2012, Claire and I agreed to accelerate our plans a bit. By then we were married four years already, when most couples would already have a few kids. But we had moved to Canada and were still settling down. We hadn't even applied for Permanent Residency yet, and our long term security was not entirely steady. But I felt like I was suddenly on a clock, like this diagnosis put a timer on how much time I have left to potentially be a good father[1].

So we talked about it. We looked at our finances and our lives as they stood. It's said that there is never a perfect time to have kids, and if you're waiting for that, you'll go on waiting. We were in a good place, and so it made sense to try.

Over the last two years we've had moments of hope and moments of despair. There were times when we thought it might just be destined not to be. But we had each other, and for that, I am eternally greatful. Claire has been amazing through everything, not just in relation to the pregnancy, but my diagnosis, work, the fact that Prometheus is such a terrible movie, the Permanent Residency process, everything.

What changed that brought us to this point? Mostly, once again, that's on Claire. Last February/March, Claire took up swordfighting as her hobby and main form of exercise at Academie Duello in downtown Vancouver. She loved it, and started doing it three nights a week. Then, around June, she went to see a naturopath, specifically one related to diet and lifestyle. She had been having some stomach issues around eating certain foods, so, after a few tests and trials, Claire changed her diet, cutting out dairy and gluten. The naturopath recommended some suppliments, and changed the type of folic acid Claire was using to a fast absorption one.

Before the end of July, Claire announced that she was pregnant. We went to Whislter for a vacation at the start of August and had a blast, driving ATV's and spending a day relaxing in an outdoor spa resort.

Since then, we've just been following the growth of our little Spawnling via an app on Claire's phone. It's grown from a lemon to an avacado to a turnip and beyond.

If you're reading this and currently trying to get pregnant and it isn't happening, take heart. Sometimes these things need to take time. Try a new activity. Try a new diet. Talk to us. Talk to the professionals. Ask for help. You're not alone, and you never will be.

It has not been easy to get to this point, but it's been worth it.

[1] It's very important to note that I no longer think like this. I did during the first two weeks and now and then during my lowest times in the first six months. But since then, I've come to honestly believe right to my core that very little has changed, and it won't for a long time. There is no timer, no clock ticking down over (or inside) my head. Life was amazing even before the pregnancy, and is only getting better. We landed a science vessel on a comet flying beyond Martian orbit yesterday. I am living in a golden age, and my own little bubble of life and living glows brightly.

Growing Secrets Exposed

Next March, Claire and I will be welcoming a new addition to our family. Here's an early preview!

This has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to keep secret. When Claire agreed to marry me, we agreed to keep it to ourselves until we had the engagement ring. When we planned how we would get married six months in advance of our holiday to the US in 2008, we agreed to not tell anyone beforehand. When we got married in Las Vegas, we agreed to not tell anyone for a week until we were back in the land of fast, stable wifi and we could Skype everyone.

But when we discovered Claire was pregnant at only six weeks, I almost exploded. I wanted to shout it to the world, but we both knew that was just stupid. So many things can go wrong at the early stage, so we agreed that the smart move was to not tell anyone yet. When we got the first ultrasound at 10 weeks, it was just a tiny blob of cells. We told immediate family, but asked them to keep our secret as well.

Eventually we hit a point where we were confident enough to start telling some friends, but even then, we agreed to keep it a secret until we had the 20 week ultrasound, as it would be something more tangible to show off.

Finally, thankfully, the time has come.

Last Monday, November 10th, 2014, at 8:30am, Claire and I went to the hospital for the 20 week ultrasound and spent a half hour with the doctor as she photographed and measured every conceivable aspect of our little Spawnling[1]. I got to be amazed at her talent for pattern recognition, as I watched the screen fade between "mostly grey amorphous blobs" and "mostly light grey amorphous blobs". Every now and then I spotted a hand or a leg. The head was easy to see, but once it was measured, I was lost on rest. Our future bundle of joy was being a bit of a pest though, resting it's hand on it's chin, covering it's chest, and making some scans difficult. Despite the doctors repeated thumping of Claire's belly, Baby[2] refused to move or shift position. At one point, she was showing off Baby's facial features, when Baby visibly turned from the camera, leaving us looking at a perfectly formed spine and back of head.

We did get to watch it kick, which was nice. It's still too small for me to see or feel from the outside, though Claire tells me it's already starting to give her some trouble. We might be watching a movie or playing a video game, when Claire will poke at her belly and shout "Keep it down in there!"

All is great with mother and baby. Claire is still swordfighting three days a week, and sometimes at the weekend too. She's having to go easy on some of the floor exercises, but part of swordfighting is knowing how not to inflict injuries, so she's not having a problem with the fun bits of swinging large metal objects at each other. I'm doing great, mostly just smiling non-stop and constantly looking at Monday's scan, then smiling some more. All our friends know about the baby by now, so I've started telling anyone that will listen to me on a regular basis, like the English guy that works in the comic store, or the lifeguard in the morning at the pool I swim in.

2015 is going to be an amazing year. I just hope I still get time to play boardgames!

[1] Claire started calling it the Spawnling from around week 8. It stuck pretty fast.
[2] There was some discussion as to wheather we'd find out the gender before the birth. In the end, we agreed to keep this one a surprise until the big day, as I want, and find out in advance for the next one, as Claire wants. What can I say? I like surprises!

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Making Babies Is Easy, Except When It Isn't