Not Getting To Say Thanks

In my life, there have been three people I have loved unconditionally. Wait. Let me clarify that. There have been three women that I have loved unconditionally. If we include men in the list, I guest my dad and MacGyver would have to be added to the number.

From the moment I was born, my mom loved me unconditionally. I was the first, so I got it all. For three whole years before my brother arrived I had uncontested motherly love, and even after Philip arrived, mom just found a new supply of love for him, and I still got all the attention and affection I could ever want.

Eleven years ago, I met Claire, and I knew she was something extraordinary. When we started dating a year after that, I knew my life had changed. My love for her has never stalled or diminished in the intervening ten years. Instead it continues to grow and grow and I can't imagine a world without her.

But between mom and Claire, there was another.

When I was still just developing my personality, I spent the first early years of formal education in the town nearest my home. I don't remember much about those years. I hazily recall playing A-Team on the slide with my cousin and some friends. I remember colours and shapes. But most of all I remember feelings. I remember a warmth and a love. I remember being safe, and happy. I felt that I was special, even among all these other kids. I wasn't the fastest, or the strongest. I couldn't paint as well as the others boys, or build as high a block tower. But she still told me I was important. She hugged me if I fell, wiped my tears if I cried and celebrated with me in my victories. She gave me the freedom and the confidence to be myself.

That one teacher helped set me on the path to become who I am today. I cannot even physically describe her in any way right now, even though her smile is burnt into my minds eye. She had an amazing smile. She was my first crush. I loved her her. And she loved me.

I grew up wanting to be a teacher from a very young age. I wanted to give back a little of what I was given. I wanted to make people unsure of themselves feel better about who they are. I wanted to make a positive mark on someones life.

Every day I go to work I think of how much I remember how I felt when I was in preschool and the early years of my schooling. I think of my responsibility to the children I interact with and the influence I am having on their young minds. I try to make every moment a positive one that they can tell their parents when they go home. In decades to came I want them to remember their time in school as a favourable chapter in their lives.

The teacher that influenced who I am today, and the career I have chosen, passed away a few years ago. I remember my mom telling me over the phone. I remember crying. But most of all, I remember an enormous pain in my chest, as if someone was squeezing my heart, because I knew I could never tell her what she meant to me.

I could never say "Thanks".

In My Day...

Wow! UCC has changed since I was last there. Not just physically, but also what seems to have become acceptable. Again, "acceptable" both in terms of actions, as well as the intelligence level of the student body. Allow me to explain. Lets start with the physical changes.

Well, rather dramatically there is an entire new building; huge, shiney and with lecture theatres to boot! The Brookfield Complex is sweet. Very cool to be in. And the restaurant is very nice. Great food, cheap prices. Though I was talking to someone who was complaining about the prices, but I think that's because I'm still stuck in non-student prices mode.

Also new is the current addition to the Boole Library. The biggest problem with this is, that it's not done yet. This means that you can be in studying, or photocopying when a piercing drilling sound vibrates through the building, causing everyone to look up in annoyance. It's not going to be even done in time for any of us final years to care about it enough to put up with it.

Right, on to what has become acceptable, starting with actions, though this flows nicely into the intelligence issue also.

A little anecdote:
There is a particular girl in my class who was the first to sit beside me and talk to me. This was nice because I'm a repeat, and none of the other students know me. Also, the fact that I'm working mornings means I'm missing out on tutorials, the perfect time to learn about the others or get to make some associations. Anyway, I digress. This girl sits next to me and then proceeds to talk throughout the class. Sometimes to me, sometimes responding to things the lecturer says. Sounds ok, right? Only if she doesn't get heard by the lecturer, she repeats herself. Over and over. Until she gets attention. And she makes stupid comments. Really stupid. Like she catches two words in a sentence and calls out an answer. Rarely, so far has she even been close. Then she misses something in class and gets the lecturer to repeat herself one-to-one. She fell asleep in a lecture, completely distracting the lecturer. She was in the front row!! Seriously, how is this acceptable?!? All this: one person! And she answers her phone during lectures! Not to hang up or say "shhh. I'm in a lecture. Ring in an hour". No. She spends 5 minutes whispering making plans for a trip to Galway at the weekend. Gah!

How does someone like this get into 3rd Year Early Childhood Studies? And this girl of even less attention span than me wants to be in the UN!! If that happens I'm moving to one of those countries that didn't sign whatever bit of paper made the UN. I don't care if it looks bad now, it'll be better than UN countries in a few years if she's their quality standard!

Inteligence is dropping rapidly. I realise I'm no high level to aspire to. I may be a smart guy with a decent IQ, I just don't have the attention span to match. But I try to pay attention in class... this time. I have sufficient respect for the lecturers not to disrupt their class. The levels of sheer ignorance and lack or respect for others displayed by students in my year is staggering.

I'm not really sure where this is going. It's not really supposed to be a rant. It's more of a description of what I see. Obviously my own views strongly influence what I've written. It's not exactly an impartial description of how things have changed.

Just take it as a short essay, poorly written, lamenting the lack of repect among the youth of today. I'm only 26 (and two thirds) and I'm appalled at people just a few years younger than me. Was I that bad? Is it an age thiung? Will they get better in just three or four years? Would you let people like this look after your kid? You tell me.